End of week 1 since uni started (for my class anyway). This first week of my Surg/Gastro run has been really tiring. Partly because not having a proper master timetable stresses me out greatly, and partly because trying to figure out my way around CH takes a lot of brainpower. It's comforting to know though that my senior reg is lousy at finding his way around as well and had to get the other members of the team to draw floor plans for him at first. Lol.

I haven't done any outpatient clinics with my consultants yet, or any endoscopy list. But I have been to a few surgeries that they've done. Mostly mastectomies, an incisional hernia repair, and one haemorrhoid removal. Surgery seems fun, since one gets to use their hands a lot and figure out how to get from point A to point B without accidently slicing through something that one shouldn't. I can't actually say for sure though, except that it looks fun from an observer's point of view, since the furthest I can get in terms of participation in the surgery is to hold the scissors to snip suture threads, or hold the retractors, or pull on some part of the anatomy using skin hooks or my hands (and maybe burn a few arteries so far upon request). I doubt I'll be getting a chance anytime to do anything but those sort of things though, not even the end bit of suturing up things, since we were all told that we were not to touch any of the sharps even if requested. Though then again I'm pretty sure the convenor doesn't have eyes everywhere... :P The bit I don't like though is the smell of the smoke that gets released when the diathermy is used to slice the flesh. Burnt meat in the pot can sometimes smell (and even taste) appetising, but this smell is something else totally. I wonder if that was the smell that the audience at the electrocution gone wrong in the Green Mile experienced, since the diathermy runs on electricity as well. I find that I actually love scrubbing up and getting to wear the apron and gloves and mask and all too. Though I should start thinking about moisturising my hands a bit more often heh heh. But I do wonder though, do the surgeons get bored after some time since the anatomy is practically the same for a big part of the population? I certainly wouldn't want to perform mastectomies only.

I've felt for the first time as well how advanced breast cancer can feel and look like. After the patient agreed, I ran my hand along the upper bit and bottom part of her breast as my consultant did. The bottom part where the cancer was and had infiltrated the skin felt... knobbly and warty and ... wrong? Compared to one where it was a small lump in a breast that had been taken out from another patient. I had so much difficulty feeling for it when asked to by the consultant. And when I did it felt no more different from any normal breast lump that comes and go that I have as well :S!

I need to learn to be stronger as well. It really hurts me inside as well when I see patients in pain. When that little old lady who my sen. reg was draining the blood from her wound (she had a mastectomy which then went on to bleed longer than expected even after the drains were taken out) cried out in pain, somehow my heart cramped up too. It didn't help that she was a nice little frail looking old lady who was saying that if she had known that this was coming she would never had mentioned the lump in her breast to her GP :(

Friday morning was the mortality and morbidity meeting (M & M, yum!). One surgeon talked about a patient that came in that week. 8 year old boy, in car accident, restrained using lap belt. Died. Apparently the injuries he sustained were almost like he had been cut in half. Ouch. And not a one off too. A couple more surgeons piped up about similar ones they had seen. Another said that studies showed that lap belts were not much help in accidents and were actually dangerous, and when he asked some car company representative why they continued making cars with lap belts, the answer he got was because it's legal -_-"' Right. And so people can continue getting cut in half then. One surgeon then asked if it might be better to not wear anything then. Which no one dared to agree to.

Fast forward to Saturday morning. I had my ED shift. Midway in the shift, call comes in from ambulance. Car accident. Two back passengers injured. 6 and 8 year old females. Both unrestrained. 6 year old was thrown out back window on impact, and was thrown 10m away (don't know about the 8 year old though, there somehow wasn't documentation about how she ended up outside the car either). My first thought = oh shit, they're going to die, they're going to die! But guess what, they didn't die. As a matter of fact, they were pretty ok. Besides being rather shocked and upset and crying from fear and pain, they were ok. No broken bones. 6 year old had cuts on her legs and parts where skin was just scrapped off. 8 year old had a laceration on her forehead which took 4 or 5 stitches, a big boo boo on the side of her right thigh where the skin came off, and lots of grazes on the knees and sides of her calves and toes. That was it. I was pretty upset and angry that the drivers (not the parents apparently) could let kids go unrestrained. But thinking back to friday's meeting, perhaps it was a good thing then?

Moral of story? Never go unrestrained in a car and never wear a lap belt. I wouldn't suggest going unrestrained rather than wear a lap belt of course, but then I think I would rather risk dying than risk losing half of my body and my mobility with it.