This is how Mammy Earth look like when taken with some UV ray detector thingy or other. Nana says it looks like a blue ghost with a mouth too big for it's own good, Parrotsai says it looks like a slice of melon... I'm going the unimaginative way and say that it looks too cute to not be given a place on my blog :P

Nothing much happening lately, unless you want to hear how hot it is still in Pen. Only real thing of note was that it rained, heavily, in the evening today. I doubt I would bat an eyelid at this piece of news if it hadn't coincided with the high tide. And so the big underground drains along Kimberly St filled up mighty quick and overflowed into the street itself. What sort of reaction can I give besides yuck! and to borrow Parrotsai's expression - "sweat!". I can't believe it - the hawkers still arranged their tables and chairs on the roadside and set up their stall, right in the middle of the water containing goodness knows what :S! There was even a bag of rubbish right in the middle of the road X_X I doubted anyone sane would want to have their tong shui and kueh chap or what nots (good thing you don't get roadside stalls in Kch... it's unhygienic and Kch would wind up looking like this sad little "pearl"), but less than an hour later, the rain stops, the water recedes, and the patrons starts arriving. No comment here.

And I made goop yesterday again. Didn't put in any salt, was incredibly thick in consistency (K calls it rice gum 0.O) but credit should be given (I think! *ah, me and my incredibly big cannot-fit-into-the-potty ego*) for my efforts to make it colourful (no blue or black bits unfortunately) and Parrotsai said it smelt good (though to keep it fair, she did say it tasted bland... well, without salt, what can you expect?). Hey, where's the applause?? *scratches head*

Hotmail has also upgraded my storage to 1000MB... yay! Though nothing can beat gmail still with it's incredible storage capacity more than double that of hotmail... kekekeke... but then hotmail will still have to stay as the main one seeing how long I've been using it and all now... Witness customer loyalty in action!

Lookee what I've found on nana's desktop... apparently some people are too free and have no need to study. People here being my siblings -_-"' making models out of salt and pepper shakers. LOL!

Aww... don't they look like Pon and Zi?? Don't they don't they don't they?? :D

Had my first taste of pomegranate today :D Well, it wasn't as pretty as the picture up there, but lovely nontheless. Good ole Parrotsai had a good time picking out the seeds. LOL! Talking about seeds, mum is pretty upset that I've ingested apple seeds a few times now. I'm speechless, simply because I can't see what the big hoohah can be all about. I'm still standing aren't I? Haha, I'm really asking for it!

Followed nana for a talk yesterday on statins and cholesterol levels stuff. The Dutch presenter was pretty good, considering that he actually made a potentially boring topic quite interesting too. And we were pleasantly surprised at the turnout, considering how heavy the downpour was yesterday night. Thinking we might be able to get a parking space near the hotel, nana and I drove there, and what a mistake that was! We ended up parking near home again and walking there. Not that it's much of a problem, seeing as we live so close by anyways, though poor nana's toes got a good soak *giggle*! But I'm detracting from the main point, the take home message from the talk was there can never be a LDL/ lipid level that is too low, and statins are pretty safe, even at rather high intakes. Nada bad effects on the liver even though AST and ALT levels can increase slightly. And the aim is to get it below 70 mg/l (or at last that's what I think the units are... *blush*), the lower the better. Pretty much it for the hour-long talk. And I met no cardiologists either. Then again I didn't really meet much people there so I shouldn't really be making any comment. I saw a psychiatrist, a nephrologist, and a guy currently doing his housemanship. No idea who the others were. And it is pretty sad that some of the people there didn't even turn off phones or at least switch to silent mode and so every now and then you would hear a mobile go off. -_-"' And to think these people should have known better!

The island is hot hot hot at the moment! I'm pretty much not in the mood to do anything at all, except to lie down and die. I'm glugging down copious amounts of water already and still feel dehydrated. Goodness! And I must have picked up some bug or other some time ago; my nose is running. One word - Yucks. And oh, I've realised at last the rationale behind nana's dosing us kiddies up on antibiotics everytime we got a sore throat. Wonder why this came so late to me... considering that the cardiology module is long over and done with... LOL!

Right, so I'm home at last. Got home pretty late, about 12am.... hm... it's this morning actually come to think it -_-'"

So the past few days in brief:

Had another up-all-night stint the night before the bus up to Chch. It wasn't too bad, helped by the fact that T kindly volunteered to stay up with me as well. Which was no mean feat I guess, considering we had been walking up and down around Wakari just that very afternoon. ^_^

Bus ride up was uneventful, except for the many bumps on my head that appeared after because I kept dozing off and ending up knocking my head on the window. Arrived about 2pm the same day. Met Jie at the central city library. I'm amazed that I can actually still remember how to get there!

Went for a walk on the Whitewash Heads track up in Sumner with Jie after. To say it was a bit like torture might be a bit much, considering that when one gets tortured there usually wouldn't be breathtaking views as a reward. Which describes exactly the cliffs... wouldn't mind walking up there again, just not when I'm still running low on sleep *grin*.

Didn't get to do much the next day. The plan to take a look round Botanical Gardens had to be scrapped simply because I couldn't wake up in time. *ahem* 12.15pm *ahem*. Spent the afternoon bus-ing down to Ricc High to look up Parrotsai's application. The office ladies couldn't find it and so I paid the library a visit instead. Which was why I didn't hear nana's first call. Which was why I didn't return to Ricc High in time to get the confirmation letter. Turns out they found her application form and faxed nana about it... apparently Parrotsai must look super-young or something because they stuck her into the Year 9 bunch. -_-"'

Met T's parents the same afternoon as well. Yeah right, non-chatty he said. Good thing his dad could talk simply cos I just go tongue-tied when it comes to finding topics of conversation with those from other generations... Quite an educational afternoon as well if I might add, since it offers that of a different perspective from the good ole' psychiatrist's.

The Qantas domestic flight was brought forward in the morning. Which meant a long wait in between the domestic and international flights... a sleepy tiring drawn-out wait which was partially relieved by my laptop which unfortunately died only after an hour's use or so. Good thing Whitcoulls was open! :D

And yes, Pen is boiling hot at the moment. Can one expect otherwise anyway? Parrotsai remarked that I looked red this morning. Hahah! What d'ya know -- I can see the veins in my arms! Enough nonsense now, time to find some way to cool myself down. ;)

The Eagle Nebula taken by Hubble

Nothing much today. Spent the greater part of the morning continuing my packing. Most of the furniture is now moved down into the lounge at last. Minus C's desk and my bed and base. Which I plan to get down tomorrow. Did I mention that I plan to skip sleep tomorrow night as well? I'm still not sure about that but then I can't really be bothered to go to bed, not when I know I probably wouldn't be able to sleep much anyway. How can I? When I'm about to get home soon? But then busy days in Chch awaits me. For one thing I'll need to ask about Parrotsai's registration. Hopefully that one will go without a hitch. And I shall be able to pay a visit to that Ricc library. Last time I saw it, it was just nothing more than level ground with bits of wood here and there marking the start of the work. Thinking about it makes me miss Chch a lot. I miss Hagley Park, the Arts Centre, the Art gallery, the Square, the library, the Gardens... too bad the Czech pancake lady isn't there anymore. *shrug* Nothing's permanent I guess, and this is just more proof of that. Not that I need it anyway, I can see some flowers here and there starting to wilt already...

Should I carry my tape back home? I'm still debating the wisdom of doing that. On one hand, I want my parents to look at my (dubious) 'acheivements'. But then again, how long can a tape last in the humid heat? I don't want it to get mouldy either. But keeping it here... is there any point to it?

And I'm surprised at the lack of negative reaction from mum yesterday. Normally when the topic of me classifying myself as an atheist comes up, it's either a reaction of denial on mum's part, or a scolding along with the comment that I'm an egoistic bighead. Well, it's a welcome change for one. I guess mum realises at last that I am matured enough to figure out on my own what I believe (or don't believe) in. LOL!

My posters would have to start coming down soon too. Of them all, my faves are the one with the quote "To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance" (Oscar Wilde) and the "Love worth celebrating" one with the definition of Queer on it. "Queer is a word that describes both sexual and gender diversity" along with a short list of what comes under that heading of Queer. I wonder though, is it even possible to be TOTALLY straight or even gay? I tend to think that it's more of a (un?)even distribution, a continuum on the straight/gay-ness scale. I'm not one to go into details here, but with the double standards and the discrimination that's rife in most societies, I doubt if many of the so-called straights would even admit to themselves if they had the occasional slight feelings for that of the same sex...

And it's funny how easily my mood is affected by many things. Weather and music to name a few. Is C right when she said I'm too sensitive? I hate to think I'm one of those 'touchy' ones, but then my acting the Inquisition today could actually be taken that way? Ugh... I wonder if anyone feels like that? I know partly what drives it... at times at least... my insecurities. I don't know why I always feel like I'm never good enough for myself. Personally I'm not the one to care about what other people expect of me, but it's my own expectations of myself that always ends up making me disappointed in myself. As I was saying just yesterday, it doesn't matter what others think about how I'm like, it's what I feel about myself that matters most. Because in the end, it's not them that's stuck with this body, this mind, this attitude and whatever else. Because the only one that's going to be like me, is me and only me alone. Therefore my expectations of myself should come first and foremost. Pleasing the strict master that I am would then make me happy. But that's where the problem comes in. I am strict with myself. True, I've already cut myself some slack in the last few years. But then whenever I compare myself with what I was before, in my eyes, I have slipped even further away from being perfect... which is odd. I'm going the opposite way most people are going. Perhaps my ego is starting to shrink at last? So it'll fit in the potty now perhaps? But then, it's this race with myself inside me that's starting to tire me out. I know that what mum said is true, there's no such thing as being perfect. No one can be perfect. Sure, but then does that mean we shouldn't strive for perfection then? Are we to use it as justification, that it's not possible, to just let ourselves sink into the mud? I can't for one. Not even if Nana-nut talks to me until he's blue in the face, not even if electrotherapy or lobotomy is forced on me. To reach that ultimate pinnacle is my dream. I can be happy climbing up. Just that I get tired at times. But with a little rest, then the climbing can continue. We are allowed to dream after all.

Darn, I've let myself go on a rambling spree again! Yes, I wonder if I do prattle on too much at times... but then when the listener chooses to not take up the role of speaker, what can one do but prattle on? Better to prattle than face uncomfortable silences... the latter has got to be the worst of all... there I go again. I better stop before someone dies while reading this... HAHAH!

LOL

"Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorn is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can't see them."

Not really much of a start on my plan, but better than nothing I guess. Feeling sleepy today. Looks I'm getting too old for the all-nighter thing! Packing still in progress. I can't tell how much I have left but somehow my room never seems to be getting any tidier or emptier. Yet the boxes keep on filling up... :S ... I've gotten rid of all the bedding now and have resorted to using the sleeping bag. But with the sudden lousy weather, will my bedding dry in time? Darn, should have started planning and washing earlier! Hopefully it'll dry by Tuesday evening!

Taken by someone in Madrid's botanic gardens.

The suggestion put forward that people should use the phrase 'my honour binds me to you' or something along those lines instead of 'having eyes' for one person alone has been niggling away at me because of what it means. I admit, the latter is a phrase that is pretty superficial and when one thinks about it, rather meaningless. But saying that honour binds people together seem to suggest that each are putting their own honour above their love for others. They are loyal simply because it is called for by society, that should they fail to keep it, then they would risk losing their honour. Where does love come into the situation then? Is it just about presenting a 'play' for others to watch, so that the applause would follow and thus maintain one's face and honour? So it could all be just a farce then? That the love is a lie to be believed by outsiders? But then again it could be genuine of course. That both components are complementary to each other...

Inconsistencies makes diagnosis harder, and commencement of effective treatment would end up delayed.

I've noticed, the more obssessed I am about it, the more lonely I'm starting to feel. Not that I'm indulging in anything yet. Seeing and learning about the side-effects scares me but the main result is attractive nontheless. Hiding is tiring though. Maintaining a strong facade when the base is starting to sound hollow is oh so difficult at times. My resolve is weak... can I deliver?

This was something I drew ages ago... last year? I can't remember. But the point is... the credit goes to me this time! Muahahahahhaha! I know I know, self praise is no praise... and I admit, it ain't the best drawing in the world either, but it's one of the few I drew with that programme that stayed with me this long! :D

Well, I succeeded in staying up all night. Then popped down to the bindery to give some backbone to a couple of booklets. Jan's was next, and then Nat's. And I've got my bus ticket back from Chch next year too. Arriving back in Dud in the afternoon, with hopefully enough time to move all the flat's furniture into the house by evening! Electricity should be less of a problem I should think. Grabbed couple of boxes off Countdown too. Not very big, and not very small, just of the right size I think, so that I don't break my arms when they're filled! Carrying them up the hill was exhaustive work, simply because my arms was practically horizontal whenever I carried them, and it was an uphill thing... need I say anymore?

I failed to carry out part of my plan upon arriving home. *shrug* I'm half beating up myself mentally and half comforting myself saying it's nothing... And I practically konked out until about close to 4pm. Then hung out my laundry and did the 2nd load. Hopefully they'll dry out soon and then they can be packed up and be out of the way. Darn... afternoon naps were always a bad idea as far as I am concerned... I'm feeling hot and even more tired than before. At least Airwaves' helping with that sick feeling in the stomach, courtesy of the nap... yipeee, packing can commence again! Chyi has gone back this morning. RJ and I saw her off. The pangs of homesickness is worse than ever. Less than a week now! YES YES YES!

I've just finished filling one box and a half... that's all I've got to show for my three hours or so of packing. Sigh... and if last year is anything to go by, I'm probably not even 1/3 through everything yet... *screams*

And while packing, a thought, not a new one mind you, (re-)struck me... but first, here's a paragraph from my PDS notes:

"Culture shapes risk of illness
As already mentioned different behaviours and habits affect the development of illness. High fat diets, low levels of exercise and high levels of stress play a part in the development of much of the morbidity in the Western World. There are many other examples of cultural practices that increase risk of illness. For example sexual practices such as anal intercourse or multiple casual sexual relationships have been found to be a significant factor in the spread of HIV in parts of Africa. One of the most widely quoted examples of a culturally determined disease is Kuru amongst members of a tribe in Papur New Guinea. Kuru is a neurodegenerative disorder transmitted through eating the brains of infected individuals after their death

Culture defines normality, health and illness
Behaviours and beliefs related to health are usualy learned in childhood and passed on from one generation to the next. All cultures have ethnomedical systems or beliefs about illness. In sme cultures such systems are intimately related to their religious belief systems, in others not... what is considered normal in one culture may be considered highly abnormal in another. This is the case for both physical and mental symptoms.
In 19th century European society affluent women were encouraged to be inactive, housebound and delicate in their constitution. Illness behaviours were encouraged and reinforced. Many women, in response, used hysterical symptoms such as fits, faints and funny turns to give themselves a degree of control over their lives and that of their family by using such behaviours in a manipulative way. Such behaviours were quite common and seen as norma. Tday such behaviour would not be deemed to be either appropriate or normal...."

So what? So the reality we know today is just made up of social norms then. And social norms are changing and certainly not set in stone then.

And thinking back to paper 3 this morning, oddly one of the cases we were tested on was about anorexia. Sure, anorexia and bulimia carries with it perceived risks and so on, and as a whole society tends to view them negatively (despite hypocritically promoting the idea that women should be stick thin to be beautiful), and despite the boom in the number of pro- sites, I've chanced across some sites which are petitioning for the former to be closed down. So here the question is, if health is something so subjective, why then the negativity surrounding ED? It's all based on what society deems as normal, as healthy, as good and what not. And how would society know what's good and what's not? It once condoned those funny turns and 'odd' behaviours of those affluent European women. A mistake in the eyes of our present generation. And besides, what these two sides value as health-ful is clearly 'different'. One says that ana/mia is just another lifestyle choice, and the other saying that it's BAD BAD BAD and is something that needs treatment. Listening to all nana, and those at the plenary session for the Bulimia integrative day certainly tells me enough what the medical profession thinks of ED. But then it's clearly that both are practising (vastly!) different cultures here. And what gives one the right to force a different culture upon another? Is it right to make lifestyle choices for others?

On the same note, can't the same be said of smokers? I know for one that if I ever develop a ED or took up drugs, or smoking, the well-meaning people around me for one are going to start pressuring me to seek out treatment. Where does autonomy come in then? I'll be perceived as unwell, but am I truly? It's just a different culture in practice, no? Who are we to judge the culture of others? They aren't eve comparable in the first place.

That's all I can think of for that at the moment. And I've decided I'm going to try and not sleep tonight. We'll see how that goes.

Another thing, is it just me or some sections of society don't mind portraying traitors and scum as heroes? The classic one I can think of is that H. Tuah. Why can he be revered still as a hero I don't know. In the olden days, that's understandable. When unquestioned loyalty to your leader comes first. But times have changed. It's important we remain loyal to our leaders and country, but I am of the opinion that friends should come first. That was what H. Jebat did after all. Protect his knave of a friend's honour and stood up for him (though I can't say I totally approve of the way he did it). And as a reward, died by being stabbed to death by his 'friend'. And we cheer the murderer? Something smells fishy here. Or is my nose being too sensitive. Or is this another case of judging someone based on the observer's culture?

Another one that I never understood is that of the Moses's story. Sure, he stood up for 'his people', but then shouldn't he owe his loyalty to the Royal family? What the heck, did all those years feeding him and treating him as one of the family not count anymore? Is C right saying that adoption is a bad idea then? Why is he regarded as the good one when he turned his back on his benefactors? Yes, the idea of greater good sounds nice of course, but where's one's sense of loyalty gone? What if I found out that I'm actually an alien? So I'll just kick my family in the a**e and join my new alien family? Despite their care and love all this while? Is love this cheap then, that it means almost nothing? Then again, I do realise that my talk is biased... I'm all for the ancient Egyptians, I'm an extreme family-first person, and *blah blah blah* figure the rest out yourselves...

All a bunch of crap born out of boredom...

And that's dinner for today. Took a whole two hours! *faints* Behold, the four little.. *ahem* piggies (?)... heh heh. The first sit-down flat dinner ever since we got together this year! Chyi's running off tomorrow morning, and I'll follow come Wednesday... I keep on saying I need to get a start on packing, but somehow that doesn't seem to happen...

MUAHAHAHAHHA ... MY EXAMS ARE OVER! GET READY TO WELCOME BACK GOD MANO-MANO! BOW AND ACKNOWLEDGE MY PRESENCE!

Hm... I can't see anyway to escape tomorrow's dinner. There goes my plans out the window. But considering it's going to be the last time this year out with my friends, my plans can hold I guess.

Last day before the last paper! Last day before I gain back my freedom! Less than a day before I get to go out and play!

*ahem*

So I've called Contact now, and RJ will have to make a call with the meter reading before she leaves. I've elicited $30 from both XL and Ch now, only RJ left to get it from. I've written and posted my last letter to my grandparents before I head home. I've sent in the second form that Studylink has sent out to me. My application has been sent in and now awaits processing. I'll walk up to J's this Sat morning to reclaim ownership of my calculator. I need to start planning how to pack up my stuff which has probably grown over this last few months. I still have yet to get rid of that toaster ovenette, but then again do I care? Since we're leaving everything here in this house. That reminds me, I'll have to get hold of my landlord for this year and ask him about that. And also my landlord for next year, so that I know when and how to get my keys. What else? I need to get down the numbers for the professional movers too. Hmm.... so much to think about. Had I known before I signed the lease for the new flat that it would be such a hassle to move, I might have given it another thought. As if! *rolls eyes*

Help me! I can't sit down to do any serious work! And yes, I need to get some beef for tomorrow too. Or I might just decide to not toe the line and get something else instead?? We'll see how keen I am on odd tastes tomorrow...

Here's something fun :D ... something I think most M2's would be needing today... Arrgh... how can they be so cruel? To throw in such a big bunch of Cardio related stuff today? And kidney... again! Didn't we get stuff on that already on Monday?! *screams* [should I add in *faints*?? Nah... too sissy-fied/ undignified! LOL!] What else did they ask? Ah yes, Respiratory stuff too. That wasn't too bad. Though asking what the pleural rub detected on Mrs. C's left thorax signified stumped me for quite a bit... I gave two answers, the second one which I think is more probably came to me at practically during the last hour... or last minute I should say instead?! Aaand... when did the parietal pleura gain subdivisions?? Hm... *frowns* Genetics stuff today was mainly about genetic testing. Not sure what I should be talking about, but I scribbled some stuff down which was partly made up, and partly fragments of stuff that I read the last time I covered that module... and I found myself repeating my answers for a few questions here and there. Should I be worried about that I wonder? My poor little strands of noodles... I've squeezed them so dry I wonder if there's any more juice in them that can be squeezed out for Friday now...

To add to this as a side note, why was Eureka's chips much saltier than I remembered today?? Less herby more salty this time :(

More goop was concocted in the kitchen today... Twas meant to come out as nice lovely ... tomato-ey porridge... but the addition of egg when it wasn't hot enough, and when it was too sticky already, and stirring it too early and too much, resulted in a whitish-reddish (good thing not pinkish!) pot of grub that did not appear to have any egg in it. And I think I've made this mistake before too. *winces*

And flat dinner this Friday! :D and on a lighter note, one more paper to go only! Then packing, then home! *ahem, then to carry out my threats on the parrotsai* And darn, plans not going well... how am I to reach my target I don't know... still a wannabe wannabe wannabe...