These are some of the little bits and pieces that come into my inbox occasionally. I can't remember how they got into my inbox in the first place, but I've this feeling that it's probably a relic from my last visit to Tzi Chi with mum. Personally, I've nothing against organized religion. It's great that each and everyone out there have something that they can believe or find comfort in. I just don't wish to subscribe to any of the ones out there at the moment. Pardon me if I say that not everyone fits into a mould, and also I believe that it's possible to live by one own's rules and lead a... largely virtuous (I dare not say wholly virtuous simply because I don't believe that humans are capable of doing as such, anyone who says otherwise needs to open their eyes a little more) life as well. And yes, I've decided at last to stop going to W now, simply because I don't believe, and I think I should stop giving people hope and to stop being such a pretender. So there. And I chanced upon a few sites yesterday, and yes, Buddhism can be considered more of a way of life rather than a religion (but dare you say that when one of the Rukun specifically implies that you MUST have a religion...) and also some other stuff on Ramadan that I found rather interesting and educational. I still do admire their discipline in undertaking such a feat!

But that's not the point of this post. I'm more interested in the two pictures above this time. The first I agree whole-heartedly. I do think it would be smashing to be able to live a totally carefree life, where I can play all day and not have to worry about all the other mundane things in life. But then that would defeat the purpose of living. Achieving happiness is the goal of each and every person's life (if your goal is otherwise, let me know. I would dearly love to meet you.) but then if we pass every moment just being carefree, after a while, would it still seem as carefree? One would get used to it, and then it'll just be reduced to being normal. So with responsibilities, we do get stress and worries and what nots, but at least when it comes at last the time to shake off the burden, we would appreciate what it's like to be happy.

The second one however, I find a bit odd. True, if we brushed off every 'careless remark' (note the use of ' ') uttered by others simply because yes, I find it hurtful, and he/ she can't be that cruel to mean to hurt me, so I shouldn't take it too seriously and smile in response, then yes, we would probably not feel upset at all everytime such a thing happens. But then is that actually possible? And assuming it's possible, think again of the remark... “in the mind, as in physical nature around us, nothing happens by chance, or in a random way” [Charles Brenner, M.D.]. It could be a Freudian slip of the tongue perchance? A Freudian slip, or parapraxia, is an error in human action, speech or memory (unintentional acts) that is believed to be caused by the unconscious mind. So what if the remark is unintentional? It reflects what is in the subconcious mind of the person uttering it. Sure, it wouldn't matter for some things, like wether at the back of Person X's mind you're a d***head (if you're the sort of person who just doesn't care what other people think of you, that is), but what if it was something more serious? What if when one declares his/her utmost obedience, loyalty and blah blah de blah to you, he/she by accident utters someone else's name instead? Are you just playing substitute (in which case you should be worried!) or was it truly an innocent slip (if it can be innocent in the first place that is) and you're making a mountain out of a molehill? .... yes, life might be easier if one lived in a Harry Potter like world, where mind-reading can be possible at times (or so I like to believe)...

And here ends my nonsensical rambling for the day. Too-de-loo!

Right, now that was yesterday's post. Stupid Blogger decided to let me post at last it seems *rolls eyes*

Neways, first of the three papers today. Started at 12.50pm. 5 minutes later than it was meant to. And they've put the journal/ epi questions into today's paper. Whoopee! At least that one is out of the way now. They seem to allocate a rather lot of space and time to each question, which I didn't really have much to write about. Unless you want me to spin long lengthy boring stories which aren't true. Speaking of which, I had no choice but to generate one for the question about Mr. So-so's metabolic acidosis (which I hope it is!). And thanks to the invigilators, I originally thought we were scheduled to finish at 3.50pm, which had me rushing through quite a bit. Only to later stop and think, 'wait, what the heck?!'. By then they had changed the time to 4.50pm again. Grr... if I fail paper 1 I would know who to hold accountable for. LOL, excuses for my lame-ness as usual!

Next I have to find out which of my friends aren't going back for the summer, and I must get an answer from Q wether PA wants the toaster oven or not. It's not like I'm selling it too! *shrug* if not I might as well get a bit of pocket money out of it by making a trip down to Cash Converters, just that the thought of them getting hold of the ovenette kills something inside me.

What to do tonight now? I'm in no mood to study... and it's 4 more days, 2 more papers to hols! Wait, my packing will have to be done first. And I've only got 3/4 days to do it. Hm.... busy busy busy times ahead...


And K.L., this is for you! See what's in the background! LOL LOL LOL!

Couldn't post this yesterday for some reason or other. But yes, what I had wanted to say was I wanted this hairstyle, the one on the right! Arrgh! Slightly less than two weeks more before I get to do something about the tangly web atop my head! Yippee!!

And last day before the start of the first of the three papers I am to sit. I don't know why, but I'm feeling less nervous now. Super nervous just a few days before, resulting in me drinking copious amounts of water (I probably hit 3 litres plus... :S Good thing my kidneys are working!) and now I guess it's the calm before the storm?? Or just worn out already. After all, that's what it said in PDS, there's only so long before your body falls apart under chronic stress... eeps! And the count is now at 3. Ulcers I mean. Two next to the... frenulum?? in the vestibule, and another somewhere near one of my molars. Bummer. Just as well nothing's showing itself near my eyes yet *whew*!

Picture for today is from a cattle fair in Rajasthan. Credits to whoever took it, the colours are gorgeous!

^_^ guess whose writing is it? Free liposuction for her when I am qualified and registered

+ stuff that would remain stored away in my noodles simply because I didn't have a camera on me -_-" ... and yes, this post is for me to 'brag' ^_^ See the handiwork of the highly creative team [names on the back ;) ] *proud* and another 'puppy' *hehe*

I'm tired. And it would have been a binge-free day if it wasn't for the ladies in front of me. Darn. And that little bit in Meta about obese eating patterns - "night-eating" and "binge-eating". Goodness, I fit into both categories and ... yes, I do suffer the consequences?? LOL...

Ideas and thoughts and plans can't be set into action, not with the number of witnesses that would be generated, and not with threats looming up in the horizon. Think think think...

Nothing much today. Had my physiol lab in the morning. Was kinda interesting though the case where the guy had problems with his thick ascending limb of the loop of Henle took some thinking through before I got it. Phew!

Pathology tute after lunch. Quick and rather painless it was, but rapidly progressing glomerularnephritis isn't something most people would choose to discuss on a sunny afternoon. Apparently we do leak a very very teeny weeny bit of blood into our urine as shown by that lone RBC in the urinary space in the micrograph.. hmm... why am I even bringing attention to this little useless fact I don't know... -_-"'

And yipee, PDS lifestyle project results are out finally. 4/5, clear pass. Whew! ^_^

My turn to do the special hymn today. I did some practice prior to it in the adjoining hall. All I can say it, I do better if I know that no one is listening or watching, and the little piano there is really really old and the keys, as they are played, you can hear it go plinky plonky in the background. Anyways, back to the main point. I've no idea why waaay before it was my turn (S was on for prayer and T was on for collection) I got something not unlike a panic attack [where's my valium when I want it?!]... darn... but then again it was a last minute decision to exercise my vocals... why am I making up excuses? Bottom line is my voice shook, my fingers missed, and my brain failed to coordinate = lousy performance. I've no idea why H.Sung would think it was good, seeing as he usually is the one with the high expectations. But I do. Grr... I'll clinch it next time round... wait.. I don't want a next time round. But what's with P.A. talking about putting a mic next to the piano next time?? Eeps! And now what am I supposed to tell P.A. bout this coming weekend? I'm not keen to celebrate my birthday, never was, and now in public? Don't want, don't want, don't want! *Help!*

And darn, was hoping to meet up with Jie before she went back to Chch. Sigh... but the weather was fickle. So she went back early so that she doesn't get caught up by bad weather. Fair enough, since it's a 5 hour drive. But thing is, some time after that, the weather improved and the sun came out... -_-"' I swear I'm going to shoot down some weather gods for dinner...

But in the end, with the threat of hail tomorrow and what with the abundance of sunshine, we went all the same. The flowers were in full bloom and there were masses of them! And they are stunningly beautiful. I didn't realise that rhodedendrons came in such a variety of colours... and sizes too! Some were like trees, rather than shrubs. And there were some interesting plants from Africa on display too. There was one little small plant with its flowers arranged like a club/ mic (??) which I found most intriguing... the flowers were so small and so packed, what sort of insect pollinates it anyway? I know the bees here that I've seen so far won't fit, that's for sure. And sitting on the grass, looking down at the cars below, makes me feel like I'm on top of the world. I should try climbing up those hills on the opposite side of town one day... *what madness is this?*

Remember, madness is infectious... :D

Weather not as beautiful as yesterday's... but there's sun! I should learn to be grateful for the little mercies we get from the weather gods in Dnd I suppose... The walk in the gardens didn't happen unfortunately. Perhaps tomorrow if the weather is good and Jie gets enough sleep :D It'll be just like old times... and yes, I do remember the azealias! Haha!

Did a little practice for tomorrow. Hopefully it'll be the last visit of the year [notice my choice of words]. I'm actually getting a little tired of this play-acting. Perhaps play-acting is too strong a word. I'm just plain bored. And I still have yet to make up my mind wether to exercise my vocal cords tomorrow. If I do, hopefully that stupid high A will come out with my breaking them membranes, or worse... it coming out sounding like... a chicken being killed?!

And Jie and I got to play around in the kitchen again! Yay! If there's a reason why I miss my time in Chch so much, that's one of the biggest reasons. I got to shell mussels today :D... first time doing it, and not as icky as I thought it would be. And who would have thought that hermit crabs could live inside mussels! Eeps! Now that's icky... *pops a de-worming pill and swallows* So we had a seafood (rather than fish *grin*) curry, some roti to go with it, a nice little veggie salad (mmm.. now I've got some ideas how to do those pumpkin seeds :P) and a dessert type sweet potato soup. Yum!

I guess sisters mean more to me, I feel more relaxed around my two sisters than most people in my life (parents don't count). Hugs for you, Jie and May!

By Nel Whatmore

I have been a

Curious kid
Little mean brat
Contented child
Selfish procrastinator

all this sunny summery day...

And met up with Jie tomorrow and had a bit of lunch together. Plans for tomorrow still unmade.

Lousy weather in the morning, and fine by evening... if there's anything more fickle than I am, the weather is -_-"'

Got this off the table I was studying at earlier today; someone had etched it into the tabletop!
"Everything is going to be ok in the end; if it's not ok, it's not the end" Someone even etched the word "Agreed" below it. LOL! It's nice to believe that, but would it be perhaps, a tad too optimistic?

Jie is now down here. Turns out her nana is really sick... hopefully will be able to meet up tomorrow and perhaps visit nana... it's been... a year since I've last seen her?

Release date is on the 5th of December :D! Wonder if the libraries or Popular would stock it?

Snowed a little yesterday morning. Rained a little after that. Bright sun intermitently in the afternoon. Yup, classical 4 seasons in a day Dunedin. At least today's weather was more predictable... warm, which fits better with the late spring/ summer season we're supposed to be in now, LOL!

No idea why my brain was not working today. What I've read just a few days ago I couldn't recall at all... my noodles just went 'awol' right when I needed it the most! Wasn't really in the mood to do much study earlier in the evening either so cut short my study time and headed home.

And I think I might have moved into stressed mode subconciously? That primitive craving is coming on again... golly, if only I could turn it off like RJ! Don't ask me why... perhaps it's just that I know that I'm not as prepared for the finals this year as I've been previously. The heck, this has got to be the first time I'm not covering the stuff as thoroughly as I used to... think PMR, SPM and HSFY... hm... definitely a slacker in the making now, huh? Goodness, and I'm joking bout it still?! Haha, definitely gone mad. It's odd that most people I know seem to think I'm mad, even my parents -_-", and now even people that I've never really met. Perhaps I should start using madness as an excuse to get away with stuff, though this is thought is certainly not new, I've never had the courage to put it into action... knowing nana is probably not going to help me is somewhat of a deterrent too... LOL! Seriously though, wether to think it's a blessing or a curse I've no idea... and why though I should ask myself? Is it because of my crazy laughing episodes or something?? *shrug* Why do I even ask when the evidence is staring at me? Going from talking about stress to this... *rolls eyes* Rambling as usual...

I wonder why I listen less to myself talking nowadays... partly because the split has been getting greater? It's hard to listen to two voices than one... how to concile them again? Mediation probably wouldn't work, or I would be more definite in my decisions by now.

I'm feeling drained, more than ever before... So much to think about, so little answers and time to think things through...

Less than a month now... hopefully the As[s? Tee hee] is not off running around and we'll get the storage problems settled soon. I must remember to email my sister and figure out when to get back next year and call Contact.. soon soon soon... *makes plans to procrastinate a little more LOL*

Newest addition to my collection! *big grin*

I'm still listening through the tracks... it's supposed to be by Jap instruments, but for all I know, it sounds just like it was done with traditional C ones. At least it's a nice break from my other collections... though I must add that some of the tracks where some form of flute features do have a touch of the cold-ish creepy-ish to it... though most of the tracks are just beautiful.

Just one tutorial today. It's just one of those days where I envy those from Stream A. I rather have had my Physiol stuff today too and be done with it and therefore have 3 days off instead... grrr... *goes out hunting for the person responsible*

You will never find time for anything. If you want the time, you must make it. - Charles Buxton

By Renoir

Someone's trying to play mind games with me... but it ain't gonna work... *use a sing-song voice for this* HAHAHAHA!

By Renoir

H-X's lunch was today. We reached the Esplanade probably about... 1pm? The booking was for 7 people (yes, I miscounted -_-"!) and was for 12.30pm. Good thing the table they gave us could seat more than just 7 people... whew! We all had a great time... or at least I had.. we ordered 4 pizzas and 4 pasta dishes to share together. Someone deliberately not try the pasta due to the cheese yet (after much forcing and pushing and persuasion) managed to down 12 slices of pizza. Turns out it was altogether slightly too much for 8 people, so we ended up playing some merry-go-round game where the losers would have to take a slice. Turns out my mathematics skills have gone down the drain since high school! Arrrgh! And a slice of sticky date pudding with vanilla bean ice-cream with a candle too as for Bomi :D a belated birthday celebration... LOL!

Afterwards we spent some time watching the waves coming in. It was not as sunny as I would have liked it to be, but the waves were awesome! They crashed up against the rocks and went whooosh up into the air against the barrier! SL and I had a whale of a time trying to get ourselves wet.. tee hee... with quite a bit of success actually :P It's been so long since I've felt so young... what with all that unwanted stress from the upcoming finals! Eeps!

Went to the Afrotago 'A Taste of Africa' Cultural Night too. It was as colourful as the MCs promised, if not better! I quite like the 'fashion show'... I'm not sure as to how authentic the clothing on show were, but they were still fantastic! This was followed by a lovely variety of performances. There were quite a few items by the group from the Seychelles, and I had no idea my classmates were all along so talented as dancing and singing! They did three traditional dances (I loved the costumes by the ladies too... so eye-catching and swishy!) and also a really energetic hip-hop one. And there was a play too about an exiled crippled prince who finally learnt to walk and reclaim his rightful place as king again... What I love about this cultural night was that it was a totally relaxed night... it had a casual feel to it... sure, things weren't 100% perfect, but everyone enjoyed themselves tremendously and it was really good value for money I must say *wink* and the way they wove the cause they were fundraising for (for a World Vision project to help the children affected by HIV/ AIDs in Africa) into the whole programme so seamlessly... They even served a light supper for all who came... there was some sort of flavoured fried rice, some bread (with a pesto-like spread I think), and a bit of cake too. And I found out at last what those midnight sausage sizzles outside the dent school was about too! HAHAHA! aaand yes, credit to T for making me go in the first place... :P

On Gotzon Borglum's statue of Dr. Edward Livingston Trudeau at Saranac Lake, New York, was inscribed the following French phrase:

'Guerir quelquefois, soulager souvent, consoler toujours.'

Idiomatically translated into English, the meaning is:

'to cure sometimes, to relieve often, to comfort always'

~ from Journal of Musculoskeletal Pain, Vol. 8(3) 2000by I. Jon Russell, MD, PhD. Consoler Toujours -To Comfort Always

==============================================

Physiol lab this time was about urine production rates, and involved pee-collecting. First thing when we got there, it was 'right, anyone who's not gone to pee in the last 5 minutes, do so now.' *Back to being kids again, toilet training time!* The tutor asked for volunteers for the various groups. There was no trouble getting people to sign up for being controls, and for the water, raro and powerade groups. Soup? There was a brief hesitation, and finally J put up his hand. No one else would do it, and so our class ended up with 4 data collectors *grin* of which yours truly was one. [For a moment, with the assurance the soup would be made with warm water, I nearly gave in, with her saying we needed more results so that we would have back-up results in case anything goes awry... but the thought ofhaving collect my pee and measure it, and remembering the warnings from previous groups, I decided to keep my head down. Ang good thing I did, because the soup was made too thick and had lots of 'sludge' at the bottom of the can... ugh! Poor J! and yes, our results did turn out very much different from expected... LOL!]

Tried to do some study in Central, but wasn't very successful. Was rather sleepy today for some reason. Not that I don't feel sleepy on other days, just that it was hard not to succumb to it today... any ideas on how to keep awake while studying? :S

And the painting's by Renoir

Weather today looked exactly like that. Drizzled a little at times, but certainly made for slow reading. I felt like doing nothing more but sleep today. At least I got a few lectures down, though it's still slow progress. Sigh...

Bought tickets to the African cultural night on Saturday. After that performance at the Fringe Festival, I'm quite keen to see what else is going to be on :D

"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it."
-Danny Kaye-

Did the GI cal test today. Wasn't too bad, more histology than I had expected and less pharmacology then I thought there would be too. LOL! And I probably should start my work on Blood now...

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." - Gandhi Jayanti

He asked, and I said yes. How, when, why? I don't know... lol!