Stones by Sean Day

MacBaby lab this morning. Rather dry stuff on the formation of the embryo, and my mind blanked out a couple of times from overboredom trying to figure out the message they were trying to convey to me. Suffice to say that checking my student and hotmail accounts, boring as it is, turned out to be the two things that saved my mind from the monster of boredom.

More interesting was the developmental lab that came afterwards. I skipped my own and crashed stream A's instead (just so that I could run off to practise for this upcoming Sunday's piece before waiata practice, without having to run back and forth between the north and south ends of campus!), which ended up the saint and his apostle being separated by quite a few sinners in between. Just the perfect day's work for this evil lump *snickers*. But I digress, for the main point of today's lab was to demonstrate that foetus size correlates with age, and also to highlight the results if things do go wrong. There were quite a number of interesting displays today, all of them specimens obtained more or less a hundred years ago. I wonder why (and how, since the intro to the lab mentioned that they didn't have the means to reproduce what we saw today) did the surgeon or whoever it is removed the uterus with the foetus in it. Not sure what exactly was wrong with those foetuses either, since they looked perfectly fine to me. But to remove the womb as well? The demonstrator I grabbed said she wondered as well if the mothers actually survived those operations. *wince* Some of the other cases had foetuses that had no limbs, or no brains, or were conjoined. The most gruesome was the one of a pair of twins that shared a single face. I wonder how the poor mother reacted upon learning what the stork had brought her. Like Sh said during the lab, I sure am grateful I have everything intact and in place!

After that it was a rush over to Club and Socs for my one hour practice. The accompaniment part turned out not too bad at the start, apart from the annoying abundance of flats, but the last two pages were *ahem* something. I might have to make a few changes here and there to the score just to make it playable, not unless someone decides to wave around his/ her wand and grant me a sudden elongation of my fingers or something, and also make some tweaks in my hand-eye coordination so that I can for once hit the keys accurately after jumping more than an octave up the keyboard LOL. Wonder who wrote that accompaniment? That mum from the Incredibles or something perhaps? :P

Waiata practice was as usual. I've still not started on memorising the lyrics unfortunately, and must certainly get it done before next Wednesday! I've found out which area my group will be sent to as well, one of the bays up in the East Coast. Hopefully they'll go through the procedures and stuff later in more detail too for the bits and pieces that they told us today certainly slid off my lump of noodles like water off a duck's back. Can't wait for it though, the whole thing sounds very promising and so very exciting! Cooee!

And to make my day even more exciting, was the talking about sex communication skills lab. It was at Hercus as most of us thought, so a bunch of us ended up late for class. Not that it mattered in the end, since Miss. T was late in arriving herself *hiak hiak*. This class was one of the most engaging discussions I've ever attended. It wasn't just a boring old listen and learn like some of the previous classes we had, but this was a full-on proper discussion combining morals and ethics and legal stuff with our main goal at health providers, except that this time it involved having to do directly or indirectly with sex. That was part of the class of course. The first parts involved having to define some terms that seemed obvious in their meaning, but isn't so when one cares to think about it carefully. Think about to have sex and masturbation and come up with a definition. What do you include? What do you not? There were subgroup assigned to provide a definition to the former thought sex involved penetration (of either anus or vagina). So what is oral sex then? Is it not sex? What about phone sex? What about dry sex? And masturbation... it is masturbation only when you do it on yourself? If someone did it for you, does it still count? If not, does eating someone not count as masturbation then?? Bottomline, make sure that you and your patient are on the same wavelength. And even though talking about sex didn't appear to be too big an issue (considering what wormy puts me through sometimes), but when I had to play doctor and interview my patient, I was totally caught off guard first time round when she asked, so do you think I'm gay? How should I respond to that? :S And same problem as last year, what questions to ask next? Brainstorming questions to ask beforehand doesn't really work for me it seems since I couldn't see how they would connect to the series of questions and answers we were having. The climax (excuse the pun!) of it all was when she (or rather he) informed me, in reponse to my question about the type of relationship between the patient and his mate's mate, that it was sexual and thinking of the person made him have an erection. No idea why I totally burst out laughing at this point, and so did my mock patient. Just as well this is a role-play, or I'd be so screwed, bunging up an interview like that...

Flower by Bernard Hatt

More RDA lectures today. I suppose it's selfish of me to think like this, and yes, I'm truly grateful to mum and nana to even consider having me, but after these lectures, the only impression I get out of it (besides the hard core facts and what-nots) is that the embryo is somewhat like a cancerous lump. A moving cancerous lump. A invasive cancerous lump that has the frightening capacity to leech, and multiply like nothing else on earth. *eeps*

Tutorial was rather long, taking nearly the full hour. Didn't really get much out of it, basically a run through the prep sheet. Interestingly, my group came up with a longer list of cons than pros for having children. Though seriously, the whole exercise is somewhat pointless, since someone like Sh would say having kids because it's fun, and someone like me would certainly not see what's so fun about the whole thing, but rather the lifestyle restrictions and worry and what not. So in the end, it's more a case of personal opinion, and trying to fit it into J&J's case is just silly since they are undeveloped fictional characters. All I know is that they want kids, and nothing much else.

Reviewing a previous lecture on sperm transport earlier on, I came across this sentence saying that rape victims have a high probability of getting pregnant. I've suddenly developed this itch to photocopy it a gazillion times bigger and stuff the whole wad up the noses of those self-righteous anti-abortion sillies that tramp around outside the main entrance to the hospital. They don't need to go around pushing their ideologies on others, especially when some of those might already be in great distress. That's just being cruel.

On a lighter note, tried out a recipe for microwave bread after being given the idea by puppy's anime series, though I ended up starting the whole thing at about 10? The one I found was rather odd in that it said to not knead the bread otherwise it wouldn't rise :S... It came out pretty much ok I guess, though I don't really fancy the texture. A bit too crumbly I think? It did save time though, but if I really wanted to, soda bread would have been even better. Soda bread! Next in line once I finish up all the bread in my pantry lol.

Woke up real late today and dropped off some stuff at Sh and Q, then over to T's. It was a little chilly but still real sunny, perfect for a little trip over to the gardens and to Unimart. Was hoping to stock up on some seeds, but the type I wanted wasn't in stock apparently :( ... just as well it's the holidays, and so I shall make a couple more trips there.

Didn't really see much at the gardens. The main impression I got was that the whole place was now starting to look a little untidy, with all the plants slowly dying off or going underground to sleep. Heck, even the little bulb I picked up on my walk with worm and lovingly planted afterwards is now officially dead. *cries*

Worm is intent apparently on letting me know that she's got lots of spare texts available still it seems. Since earlier today, I've been getting spam non-stop. Just as well my phone is equipped with a delete-all option, which I had been using non-stop. There comes a point where texts just annoy you, and any incoming ones just get deleted without being read. LOL. Too bad for collaterals I guess, as Q alerted me all too late a few minutes ago (it's evening now, LOL!). Though now that I think of it, B's message prob got sent off to heaven. Along with the one from another friend that I had been saving -_-"'. Totally forgot that the whole bin would be emptied. Grrr... there shall be retribution for the worm when her Lord comes round *narrows eyes*. Not to mention for the overuse syndrome that my thumb is now suffering from... *sob sob*

Was walking home from NW yesterday when I saw something that no kid-at-heart should ever have seen. I wonder how unlucky a bird would have to be for it to be mangled to be that unrecognizable, with grizzly reddish bits and pieces poking out here and there, signature identifiable body parts no where to be seen. It reminded me faintly of stuff that I used to browse through (with morbid fascination) on the rotten site. That's years ago now, and puppy, being curious at my mention of the site, was eager to check it out. It's still as gruesome as ever, except that it now leaves me feeling queasy, green, and uneasy, rather than the excitement and curiousity that filled me as a young stupid teen. Does this mean I've grown up? Or is it just my tastes that have changed?

Made cheesecake with Cl and Z this morning. The weather is just so amazingly good. After the nearly non-stop rain, the sun broke through to smile upon all her children, so I chose to just walk up the hill to Z's place. Knowing that that lump in the middle of H. Row takes me only 2 minutes climb makes the task a lot easier. Goes to show how powerful the mind is huh? Previously I thought I had always taken about 5 minutes or so and hence was never too keen to go near it. LOL. And I'm amazed as well at how some people can just go out in the morning without first topping up their energy levels. I just can't get out of the house without a little something in the morning, even if it were just that little cup of milo. How do they manage?? :S The cheesecake came out quite ok, even though it didn't stick to the crust. I find myself wondering if perhaps there wasn't enough fat to bind it together... not that it matters. Taste comes first I guess. And despite the lemon went a-hiding, the recipe that Z found was surprisingly good. They didn't show it at the time, but I wonder if my comments about how the gelatine was strikingly similiar to some body fluids might put them off somewhat?? *tee hee*

Was pretty lazy in the afternoon after cooking lunch, which was just pasta sauce. Or rather, lunch for today and dinner for the following few days. Used loads of Chinese mushrooms, which before cooking, I thought would be rather excessive... but I'd already soaked them so in they went. Turned out that it lent a very nice asian-ey sort of flavour to the whole thing. Used the canned pasta sauce again instead of the chopped tomatoes. Which would probably had meant that the fragrance of the mushrooms might had been overmasked, since I'd only flavoured varieties in the pantry at the moment. Perhaps I should stock up on the plain varieties soon.

Declaration number one: Mumiak and nana are to blame for not giving me genes encoding for adequte brain size :( So I'm slow and stupid.

Declaration number two: Even if I'm stupid, I'm Dr. K. K. L's daughter. Don't mess with me. Grrrr.

Exams are over! And it's the most torturous one and a half hour test I've ever been through. Even the three four hour papers at the end last year weren't half as bad. This one is a case of there simply being almost not enough time to structure your answer properly and writing it out neatly. *ahem* Not that I write neatly when I've got enough time anyways, but anyone reading my answers would have to be pretty good at mind reading since my points are all jumbled up as they tumbled out of my head. Darn. And to make things worse, throw into the mix a large number of questions that no one would ever have thought possible of making it into print. The heck... epilepsy?! Memory?! *jaw drops* When did behavioural science become such a big shot in the exams? Did Miss Trevena stage a hold-up or something?? *tears* She's out to get me I tell ya. My memory was probably ok, but retrieval was the big issue for me here. *sniffles* Now Lord Mano-mano commands you all to cross your fingers and hope She passes... OTHERWISE you all shall suffer Her wrath!! Muahahahahahah!

Dinner at Great Taste was quite good. Considering the price, and that it was a dinner buffet I guess it's worth it. Though like the lunch one, it's still rather meatless, except for a few items. The food was quite nice, with an amazing selection (it was like a few main types of ingredients cooked in various ways... there was even deep fried battered sushi, which I couldn't bring myself to try... deep fried ice cream, yes, but rice? That's funky... in a discomforting way), but even with that, I must lament the small selection of desserts available. Apple crumble (not enough apple I say waaah! The one CL brought to lunch was better), carrot cake (yum!), jelly (bright red :O!) and soft serve ice cream. More or less identical to the lunch buffet last year, so that was the only sad thing about it. Even though we tried, we didn't make a very impressive job of stuffing ourselves. Q got by with 2 plates? Nat with 2.5 or so. Sh and I with 4 I think, though we didn't really fill our plates very much. Same situation with puppy, except his was loaded. Life is unfair.

I believe I've found my lucky star as well. Or rather, lucky girl. While playing go-stop, she picks all the right cards from the deck, she chooses all the right ones to chuck out. Poor puppy was looking rather down. Or as down as he can anyway. I can see where Nat's comment of puppy not looking particularly anything is coming from though *hehe* so I guess that's the green signal for us to continue torturing puppy. Kekekeke.

Dropped by Arthur Barnett's yesterday. Saw a shirt and a card with very very interesting (*read: naughty*) designs. Might drop by to take photos of it later *grin*. Saw a couple of bowls at Acquisitions as well. Darn, why do they have to sell such pretty bowls... and at such exorbitant prices as well. Or maybe not so exorbitant, considering how pretty they are. But then I've more than enough bowls so I shall refrain from pulling out my eftpos card. Kweeee.

One more night and I'll be free from the threat of exams. Not that I'm feeling all that stressed from it, partly due to the fact that I know that I've passed the rat race that I had on Monday. Hurrah!

Had a scare the previous night from Sh when she said she saw smoke coming out of some house just up the street from mine. That, coupled with the fact that it seemed that no fire engine had been heard in the area had my heart working overtime. Most of the stuff that meant most to me from my childhood up to the time before I left home was poof just like that about three years ago. I'll be darn if the same thing happens to me a second time. Most of the things that mean anything to me are here right now (I said things, not people!). Not to say that I'm materialistic, but then photos of friends and a few little things from my friends back home are irreplaceable and they are just little pieces of evidence that I mean, or meant, something to other people, that I was alive prior to 2007, that they are reminders of the good ole times I had with people that I love. For a person whose memory just doesn't stretch very well beyond last week, it means the world. What is a person after all without a past? What's the difference from being just some other guy with really severe retrograde amnesia? In the end it turned out to be some house waaaay further up the street, the dilapitated one I think close to the end of the street. Whatever it is, from Sh's texts, three engines were there (probably came up Stuart Street then??) and pumping away to put it out. A rather badly timed fire, not that there's ever a good time to have one, but then it being this close to exams, hopefully they'll do alright then. Though it doesn't do much to change my view of Dud's student flats - crappy, old, and downright hazardous to health. Being in a good one wouldn't be all that safe either it seems, for if the one next to you burns, who's to say it's not gonna come lick at yours?? :S Then again, I'm slightly neurotic, and am the sort to toss and turn about in bed at night worrying about werewolves coming to eat my ten blue toes.

Plan to do some piano practice tomorrow in the afternoon, since the two lectures for ECC has been cancelled for my group. I wonder if there's any point to beating a dead horse here. It's obvious that no group of four is going to pull off a proper night, and with each passing week, our passion and drive just slowly drips down the drain. Yet when there's still one willing to clamber onwards, is it right for me to not support her when I had previously pledged to do so? My flagging enthusiasm just tells me it's super-silly, why should I continue to slave on when everyone sends out signals to me that my efforts just aren't worth it? Just like the evil macrophage chomping away at the myelin sheath, these thoughts just slowly chew away inside me whenever I look at my scores. I want to break free and not have to worry about doing things as a club anymore. I want to play because I want to, not because I feel obliged to. If nothing comes my way, so be it. If otherwise, I would rather I fly because I feel like it, because I want to, and looking at things, solo as well. Responsibility becomes somewhat of a dead weight here. Don't really see a solution to it still *shrugs*.

RDA module turns out to be more interesting than what I thought it might be. The anatomy labs, if unprepared for, can sting. Otherwise, it's rather pain free as the second one proved to be after having dutifully worked on it the night before. As pain free as Mr. Whoop-de-doo's two... no, three (including today's) labs. I'm not sure why he felt sorry for us and tried to whizz through the labs. So what if an exam is coming up? It's not like this module isn't going to be part of the finals either, so we might as well work hard on it as well like the rest at the start of the year. Sure, we might reduce the amount of time we spend doing some stuff to do a bit more revision, but it's no excuse to skimp on homework I say. But it was still very sweet of him to be so thoughtful. Talking about thoughtful, that's how the Mrs. Bae struck me as. The Baes came down yesterday evening as I was just about to leave the house, up the stairs to the main road, mainly to check if the new washing machine (which by the way, looks really hi-fi) is working well. Follow-up on flatties' problemo, tick. Mrs. Bae then noticed as well that the little bush on the left of the path was getting a bit in the way and said it needed trimming. Husband turns to me and say, I'll get it cut soon. Don't know how soon is soon, but being proactive about flat/ garden maintenance, they get one big tick from me. At least they care (or appear to, which is better than nothing), and more importantly, they keep their promises. Are you reading this, Mr. Ash, you pr**k?

Class division is coming up real soon, and still no real answers from wormy. A bit annoyed, but then I guess it's rather understandable, considering I wasn't much better at her age anyway. Nana said to just choose without taking her choice into consideration, but it's practically because of this problem that I rather follow her choice. Most that are leaving I don't know well. Most that I do, are planning to root here for the next couple of years. What's going to happen you can very well figure. The heck.

And it seems that although I might judge people based on what I hear from others, and from initial observations, my perception about people change. Which is for the better I guess, since it goes to show that I still have functional noodles in the coconut shell planted atop my neck, which I sometimes doubt lol. What appeared to be a rather disgusting specimen turned out to be a rather friendly funny person. Having been to the other stream's tutorial which Michelle runs as well, made me realise I rather my own stream's group because it's more engaging and fun. Gawd, if Mr. Talk-very-loudly-called-C (*gasp*) hadn't been in stream A's tute, I think I might have died from boredom, and so would Michelle. A lazier group I've never seen. Wouldn't go so far to say that our group is totally opposite, but at least I don't feel like I'm frittering my brain and time away like I do in my path tutes these days. But yes, I think Mr. I'm-from-Turkey isn't too bad a person it seems (why should I care about his personal life anyway? It doesn't concern me). But then too bad I can't really say the same about Mr. Annoying-M'sian-down-the-road whose appearance at my tute today didn't help things.

Rat race yesterday was tiring. 60 stations altogether with rest stops thrown in between, each taking 50 seconds. Not that the content tested was very challenging though. Quite a bit of the stuff was rather basic and the answers came naturally (after having swotted for it for the past few days... it better be!), though there were a few that had me scratching my head... long after I had moved onto other questions. There was one that I thought the question was worded very oddly and couldn't figure out what on earth it was asking for. Guessing an answer based on the picture, hopefully that should be what the examiners want. *shrug* At least it's one worry down. One more to go, this Friday. I rather the exam itself be today or tomorrow or anytime sooner. I'm seriously getting quite sick of studying, and have taken to playing the occasionally game of go-stop again. I wonder if this is an example of dependence?

Cal test yesterday wasn't too bad either, even with my wanting to just plonk down and sleep. Was shooed out of the cal lab after the first test, back to the end of the line, just so that others can have their turn at sitting the test. While I can see her reasoning for doing so, it's bloody annoying, and I doubt if it really matters in the end, since the queue by then wasn't that long. By the time I started the test, it was only 15 minutes past the time I started my first -_-"', and I was almost the last one in that queue anyway... Which means I needn't been forced to do it, since those others waiting out there would have gotten access to a testing computer without having to wait much!!! Obsessive woman... cute, well-meaning, but obsessive to the point of being annoying.

RDA module started today at half past 9. Was treated to a series of gross video clips and pictures of the abdominal cavity in endometriosis and of the surgical procedures involved. Blood, stuffy looking tissue bits, horrid looking scissors, and lots more other stuff that made me glad that my breakfast wasn't too big. Dangerous stuff it seems, seeing how one can have their internal iliac artery or ureter put out of action by one careless move on the surgeon's part. Bless dear ole mum and nana for good genes then...

Just finished this week's chore -- cleaning the toilet/ bathroom area. The fact that this month had five Sundays meant that the roster had to be tweaked slightly to fit with the rotation. But I'll be darn if I say that the roster means much to some people. I usually don't observe the area very much. It's a case of do your thing and leave with me. So when I was cleaning today, I saw that the bowl had stuff at the 'posterior' end of it. That I can handle, it's probably gotten there sometime during this week, though you would have thought someone would have had better aiming than that! Either that or a serious case of diarrhoea I would think. Then the sink. The landlord came last weekend to do the tap, so perhaps the person cleaning the area before me did it on a Saturday, hence the metallic gray debris around the hot tap. But whoever it was, still doesn't have an excuse for the rim of dust around my cup. To have build up to that point, means that a succession of people haven't been doing their job properly. I'm getting a bit pissed at this point. The last straw comes when I clean the floor. What the heck, how can there be a lump of hair at a corner?! No four people can moult that much and just at a corner! Someone or somebody, or somebodies (!!) have been mopping alright, and clumping all the hair in one corner instead of wiping it up and getting rid of it. Had to clean the sponge before doing it as well... it was filthy. The last change was two weeks ago... whoever been using it, haven't been cleaning it. Now that I think of it, I've not seen the glass doors of the shower clean of soap scum either for some time now. Is it coming to the point of being cleaned by me once every four weeks now??!!! Just as well I know I wouldn't have to put up with it come next year... Meanwhile, I assume that that's just part of their greater tolerance/ acceptance for uncleanliness and continue. But geez *rolls eyes* it's a shared flat for goodness sake!

Rat race is tomorrow. Few more stuff to look through and then a chat to mum and dad, and then bedtime. Sparkly eyed I shall be for the test tomorrow *crosses fingers*. My excitement for the test is somewhat muted though, along with my sense of tension and stress. Don't know why, it's just the overall feeling I've had this year that this year is just somewhat more relaxed and easy-going. Hopefully it's just not a feeling that only inside my head! Oh, can't wait for next Friday!! Yipee!

I know that some parts of me hasn't changed since what... high school?? When it comes to friends, all sort of shit I can take it seems. Sad. I think I need to learn how to not let guilt wash over me so easily all the time. I should learn to put my foot down and say enough is enough at times. But I'm stupid. I realise things very late even when it's obvious and right in front of my nose *wince*. But I'm a fool. And like all fools, I'll just ignore and overlook and repeat. Though then again, it's only a step away from being curious and apathetic. Just cut out the guilt perhaps? *thinks*

New washing machine still not here yet. Apparently they've (Fisher and Paykel? Flat manager?) decided that it's not worth trying to repair the thing for a second time. But how soon is 'asap'? A day? No. A week? A month? Don't know yet, but we'll soon see. If they don't get around to it soon then we'll have to start hounding them. Though I doubt they'll be as bad as the stupid empty-promises-making brown guy we had for a landlord last year. Then I wouldn't feel so bad making use of the little girl down the road X_X.

Feeling really hungry. I want to start but I'm waiting for my chef to come down. Don't like to eat alone that's why. BUT gosh is the plate of fried rice sitting on my lap just so fragrant and tempting!!

I guess I don't have to think or worry about my inability to produce one of th emost basic Asian/ Chinese dish - fried rice. I've someone else who does it waaay better than I can ^^ muahahahaha.

But so very hungry... should I take a bite while waiting?? My will power is being sorely tested here it seems. WAaaAAah!

Pretty slack day today. Woke up as usual and instead of plunging headfirst into my studies as a good girl should, I chose to spend time indulging in the pleasures of the Internet instead. Though a trip at about 11 to the stationary warehouse to get another folder prevented me from overfeeding my addiction ^^"'. Can't believe how much paper we are getting this year. It's not even halfway through the year and both my folders are already half filled! But the entire morning didn't just go to waste... I did manage to cover one lab from the neuroanatomy manual *sheepish look*

The revision lab for neuroanatomy wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. For some reason I had imagined the lab would be overcrowded with people, and demonstration material, and there wouldn't be sufficient time to let me go through whatever I wish to go through. Turns out I was wrong... on all three counts :O! For the first time in the year, I managed to run through a lab with Q and Sh, just like old times (lol, not that old, considering the last time was only last year!), and we went at a rather leisurely pace, even giving ourselves time to laugh about two xxxx-lalias and at Q's experience of being an... 'echolaliac'(?) earlier in the day when my second clone appeared to haunt her.

Stumbled upon a very interesting blog today. Rather, it was one of it's posts that was very interesting. It does act somewhat as a foil to show how undeveloped my thinking is (not that it's that... underdeveloped of course *hehe*). But I might revisit it again sometime. It does provide me some very strong arguments... or rather protection... against those annoying holier-than-thou sort of people.... And a redirect to Snopes also provided me proof that I was right all along. That old guy at the DCC at the museum should really check up his stories and facts before using them as evidence. Just as well he's an old guy... I put it down to dementia and not fault him for it. LOL.

Waiata practice today in preparation for ECC week. Three more to come apparently, though it's not necessarily such a bad thing. It does provide some distraction from the dreary lecture-hall-cafe-home lifestyle, and the songs they've chosen are lovely. One, which they had provided a translation for was rather beautiful. I mean the translated version of course. Not that the melody itself wasn't lovely and soothing enough anyway. I was really surprised when I got hold of the audio file for the song though, apparently it's the same one that I heard when I first visited the Canterbury museum with dad! Didn't recognise it when we were singing it, I supposed I recognised the lady's voice featured in the audio file more than anything else, it is rather unique after all.

Here's the site with where the audio files were:

http://www.kmk.maori.nz/100.html

And no, I didn't take that picture of that tree, as much as I wish I were the photographer =.=

Made Welsh cakes this morning with puppy after he came by after church. They were slightly sweet and probably could be eaten on its own had I sprinkled it with sugar as the recipe suggested lol. Had it with peanut butter, needed to satisfy my peanut butter cravings in the morning after all :P. But who would have thought they would go just as well with puppy's tuna? The threat of his stinky vinegar didn't come through, masked by the cakes and all... haha.

Wanted to make potato and tuna bake for lunch next week, but the fact that the deep baking dish/ tray is icky-ly sticky and my not wanting to even touch it, let alone wash it (!!), along with the fact that I had run out of foil sometime ago, meant that I had to cancel the idea and just mixed the stuff altogether and be satisfied with that. Hmm... I'm starting to regret the idea of tuna now. The thought of having fish, fish, and more fish for dinner the whole of next week isn't actually making my mouth water... Talk about not thinking before acting :(

Made muesli again today. Had wanted to stop production but then the cranberries at Countdown were calling out to me yesterday and couldn't help but buy some. At 3 bucks plus per 100g, they certainly weren't cheap, but the heck, a little once a while can't harm anyone... can it? *grin*

p/s Gosh, this post is practically all about food! Reflects the piggy I am HAHA!

Another issue that came up during our lab two days ago was about people's philosophies in life. All of us having our little rules and beliefs that we think we believe and run our lives by. The thought that it could be challenged, not by others, but by our circumstances, by ourselves was one that probably rarely occurs to us. And when it does, I rarely take the thought very far.

But one example that came up was abortion. There are a couple of people who enjoy whittling away their time standing outside the entrance to the hospital with anti-abortion signs. That's all they do. Not that they can't do it, since it's a free country after all, but I wonder, when they think about abortion and all its evils and associations with the devil and killing of innocents or whatever it is they want to think it is about, do they stop and think about why people choose to do it? It is after all a major step for the woman/ couple. There are risks involved that could endanger her life. There are counselling for people who choose this path because it's by no means un-traumatic experience. It's not a joke. They have their reasons, and who are we to judge their beliefs and life philosophies by? This we campaign so fully against, and yet other cruelties in society that take place that just happen to not be right under the spotlight continue to take place, to the point of either pretending to not see or worse still, legalising it so it and us don't look bad. But I think I might be straying off the point here. The thing is, have they ever been in the shoes of the person who was about to subject herself to the procedure? Do they see things from her perspective? I shan't talk about the actual example given to me because of privacy reasons, but then what if it were their daughters or sons that were involved?

On the same line is about faithfulness. Because of genetic illnesses that progressively worsen, with no cure appearing on the horizon, and chuck in personality changes or two because of the disease, and you have got yourself there reasons for estrangement between what was once a happy couple. But they are still together, though albeit far apart. Someone told me a story of a woman whose husband left her because her disease left her dependent on colostomy bags. He just couldn't handle it. Immediately most of us would jump up and say goodness, what a ****head he is, is he a man at all, what a weakling! Tell the truth. That's probably your reaction had you not been reading what was above, though it may not be that up and down, hands in the air type as I made it sound like. But as M.B. said, we may say that, but how many of us can say we have been tested as such? How many of us can say we have been through that and proven ourselves not the weakling? Our ideal of course is that our partner would ride it out with us even with a colostomy bag in between. Our philosophy is that faithfulness and love to our partner is IT. That was probably what that husband thought, until it really happened to him. His philosophy changed then. Would ours? Sure you can say of course not, and still make a moral judgement on him, but is that right as well?

And this brings me to my ethics tutorials as well. It's all nice and fine to make up little scenarios such as flick-this-switch-kill-one-save-ten dilemmas and then talk and argue about what we should do or not. Why talk about such a situation? Choose option A if you like, but come to the real situation, is that what you will still do? Or would option B, or even C be yours? It may uncover some of the moral issues entangled within those sort of questions, but ultimately things don't always pan out as we think it will in real life. We may argue that the nasty smoker brought his lung cancer on himself and triage him out of funding for treatment, but we haven't met those people. They are merely ifs someone thought out on paper. We haven't met the others who will be affected by the results of the triage as well. We haven't been exposed to the real situation. I remember that tutorial well. Some people argued till they were practically almost blue in the face, but in the end there wasn't a real conclusion or decision who shall be saved and who shall be left out in the cold. Life isn't always ideal, but if it doesn't come to that situation, we can sure talk big about our philosophies and ideals and beliefs. What happens when it does? Don't answer until you are in it.

Yes, I think the picture is a bit creepy too. But I can't tell exactly what I've been up to today. In the morning? That's personal. In the night? THE project ^^ Golly, I'm all excited *giggles*

And worm and I have finally worked out what it is that we should wish expecting mums or people who want to be mums. You wanna know what it is? Lean in closer dearie. 'May you have a torpedo baby'! After all, you don't want a baby that was like me, big head AND big butt to boot. You want one like my worm, big head no butt. It's for your convenience worm says. Lol.

Made another yoghurt cake today. A tad on the sweet side for me, not so for a certain ah pa and daughter -_-"' Figures. Never seen anything easier than it. Basically throw it all together, mix and bake. Came out really dense though. Not that I can see how one can beat it anyway. Pfft, what am I talking about, my beaters spark! Eeps!

Flat manager telah berjanji akan datang melawat Sabtu pagi. Haraplah semua masalah-masalah flat ini akan diselesaikan secepat mungkin! *fingers crossed*

Sungguh letih. Jiwa saya nakkan time-out. Perperiksaan hanya beberapa hari lagi tapi masih banyak yang belum dicapai :S!

The trip up to Leslie Groves today was interesting. As 'forewarned' by coursemates, it was M.B. that played tutor for our trip. Perhaps it's just the way he is, that he doesn't shine in the lecture theatre but he does marvelously well in small groups tutoring and when interacting with patients. With the patients, he is really patient and kind, comfortable and comforting to have around, almost the perfect doctor.

I do tend to agree with him that in a way what we are doing with our visits are almost like a trip of immature children visiting a zoo filled with exotic animals that they've only heard of but never seen. That was the impression I had when we first started our workshop sessions. Somehow over time, I guess I had desensitized to it and took it as part of our routine and look at it, not so much as a show, but rather a presentation of facts. Facts, cold hard dead facts. That and no more. The face that came along with it for an hour or so did nothing to detract from the factual coldness of things, especially as exams and rat races loomed up. But a trip to Leslie Groves reawakened me from my trance. Yes, guy A did have P's and A's disease. Guy B had H's. So what? Thing's happened, so what? But deep down somewhere in me, it hurt to see it so stark naked as it was today. It is almost like revisiting bits of lit. that happened to come alive. It's not just so what, they had things going for them. Work, life, family... anything and everything all settled. Looking as beautiful as the set on Desperate Housewives, just without the desperate. But somehow, somewhere along the road, things just went down the drain.

Listening to Mr C. B. whom we met today, listening to the others, listening to M.B., I remembered why I told grandma I wanted to be like daddy when I grow up all those years ago, before other interests swept me away, before I became indecisive faced with the broad spectrum of choices. I remembered Mr Xie's last piece of advice to me. Yesterday I was complaining about how long more I had before I could graduate, how I would watch everyone around me graduate before I did. How disillusioned I had become it seems. Mr C.B. said one thing that I think sums the point of our visit today, 'it's your job to kick them out of their depression into stage five (acceptance)'. I will remember and work on.

The other lesson was to be grateful. I agree with Carol and M.B. who both told me, at different points in my life, that humans are just greedy creatures who will only want more and more despite what they have. I came closer to understanding nana's choices today. When I do take time to reflect on things, I do remember to be happy with what I have. I try to not be happy because I am better off, but to be happy purely because what I have is still mine. But somehow the thought never really stays for long. I admit I do yearn for better things. I yearn to get out of studentville and head north. I yearn for the day I can get that professional looking immaculate penthouse apartment in some big city. I yearn for many other things, and forget about what I have. But then sometimes I wonder, should I join the two instead? Surely one can be grateful and be contented and happy with what they have, and yet still be motivated enough to aim higher? Sounds somewhat counter-intuitive, but I wonder if it's possible. But I guess the main thing is that, even if we don't get what we want, we should still be happy with what we have at the moment? For I still have my purpose in life, I still have my family, I still have my eyes, I still have an intact body and mind.

p/s Congrats to wormy and her team on winning the first round of the season! *hugs*

Entah kenapa beberapa hari ini mood saya memang tak tetap. Tak dapat saya ramalkan. Tak dapat saya kawalkan. Setiap saat ia memang berubah-ubah. Memang saya telah dinasihatkan untuk mengamalkan sikap 'pemikiran positif', dan saya memang telah cuba dengan sedaya upaya. Tapi tau tak kamu betapa susah untuk sentiasa berbuat begitu?

Memang saya tak suka mood ini yang tak tetap ini. Kadang-kadang apabila ia baik, hidup saya kelihatan betapa ceria. Tak kira betapa susah kursus saya, tak kira stress yang saya hadapi, saya penuh dengan keyakinan. Tapi, apabila cuaca mendung datang melawat, hati saya memang sengsara. Semua parut and luka bagai dibubuh garam, and macam aneurisme yang meletup, berdarah dengan tidak terhenti-henti. Sesungguhnya ini semua hanya dalam minda saya, tetapi saya masih terasa cucukan yang menyakitkan di dada saya. Bolehkah saya jeritkan kesakitan saya kepada seluruh dunia? Dapatkah saya kongsikan perasaan sebenar kepada semua orang? Teringin sangat insan ini berbuat begitu, tetapi mulutlah yang tidak benarkan.

Kekecewaan saya kebanyakan ditinggalkan bersama debu sejarah, tetapi akan beberapa kekecewaan, keraguan, kesedihan yang tak penah tinggalkan sisi saya. Mereka hanya dipendamkan dalam hati saya tanpi pengetahuan dunia.

Tetapi apabila dunia sekeliling menidur, apabila matahari pulang berehat, apabila saya ditinggalkan berseorangan dengan minda dan pemikiran saya.... semua perasaan datang melimpahi kolam hati saya. Tak dapat saya halangkan, tak dapat saya elakkan. Saya terasa macam telah berhari-hari saya berenang dalam lautan, masih tak menemui pinggir.... semakin penat. Akankah saya tenggelam tanpa sebarang kesan?

Mengapakah tak dapat saya memenuhi kesemua keinginan saya? Adakah keinginan saya terlalu melampau? Adakah ia disebabkan saya tak sedar akan keinginan sebenar saya? Adakah kerana saya yang tak nak ia dikabulkan? Entah... entahlah... Akhirnya semuanya mulut saya yang takut, yang menjadi penghalang...

disappointed confused disappointed missing disappointed tired disappointed

Baked this while making dinner ^^... again the picture didn't came out like I wanted it to!

^^ !!我感到好幸福!! ^^

Suffice to say that picture reflects my mood at the moment. I am disappointed in how much of an asshole some people can be. So what if the girl of your dreams reject you? You should have known better than to go after her in the first place, when she already has her bf of goodness knows how long. You should know better than to stare and giggle pervertedly at her to make her feel uncomfortable. You should know better than to open up your feelings through a stupid text. And after all that, you retreat into the stupid shell you create within yourself and hide in there, choosing to isolate yourself. After all that, you lose your balls and decide to Mr. Depressed and Antisocial and let everyone else who has nothing to do with your failure down as well. Shit, are you man or mouse?! Shit, have you no brain or guts to reply my texts?! To the point that I have to drag Shi L to drag an answer out of you about the upcoming performance? Shit! Do you even realise that people with a sense of professionalism or even an ounce of appreciation for music would realise that cancelling within days of a performance is the pinnacle of sins?! And you wanna be a health professional? Do you even realise that when you work as a team, the team comes before the individual?

Why am I even bothering to rant out my feelings here? When I know the answer to all of it is no, you don't care; no, you've got no balls; no, you prefer to take out your frustration on your team-mates; no, playing antisocial and being Mr. depressed-leave-me-alone is the only thing on your mind.

Shit, I wish you were reading this now so that you know what I think of you, so that you know how disappointed I am in you, so that you will see all this that I can't bring myself to say due to social inhibition. I can see why she doesn't even want you that's for sure! But most of all, I am disgusted, and if you are reading this, I hope you are extremely satisfied and happy with yourself now.

I love Vodafon's nearly-unlimited text for 10 bucks scheme (nearly because I never get anywhere near the 2000 mark... though that might change with Worm on the scheme as well...) for it means I don't have to spend that much money on texting just because of my obligations and stuff, but it also means I have to put up with silly spam from well-meaning people. One example was from a friend reminding me that it's a sunny day today. Yes, I can see that. I have my own set of functional eyes afterall. And one doesn't have to tell me to be grateful for it. After endless days of gloomy rainy weather, who wouldn't? I wouldn't be that annoyed though, I don't mind random texts from friends occasionally simply because it breaks the monotony of a school day, but with meaningless sentences (think AB, BA -_-"' and peppered with other G words - double -_-"'), it just becomes plain annoying. Or maybe because my timetable just really wasn't to my liking today. Oh well...

Picture was gotten off Flicker today. Again, not sure who the photographer was. I love black and white photography, more than colour, if it's well taken. Maybe it's just that feeling of timelessness that I get looking at black and whites. Or maybe it's just the fact that the abscence of colours makes it easier to concentrate on the essence of the picture? *shrug*

Internet still playing up, as it had for the past week or so now. I don't mind having to refresh pages occasionally, but doing it almost everytime I open a new page, and over such an extended period is starting to bug me. Whoosh, I'm telling ya, I'm very displeased. Diagnose the problem now! *yells in frustration*

Starting to feel the tension of the upcoming exams and stuff, but no real motivation to actually start reading for it. Not good. I think I need a whip or something. Perhaps I should be chucked back into HSFY, and maybe I'll start working as hard as Doh or Sharon *eeps!*

Found a bunch of pretty pictures over the Flicker today, and this was one of them. Can't remember who the photographer was unfortunately for this beautiful picture. I wonder how he/she managed to get it looking so sharp and defined *swoons* And http://flickr.com/photos/evermail/304601260 this one is for both you, Sh and mumiak ^^!

And I guess our lives are pretty much like the elements. The rainbow comes after the storm, and it's only after the rolling thunder and deafening lightning and whip-like rain that one really appreciates the beauty of a rainbow, with it's colours and elegant shape. *hugs* to puppy for making me open my eyes when I nearly threw something beautiful away.

Started class at 2pm today. An extremely rare thing these days I think. After having to deal with my lousy internet connection yesterday, which made skyping with mum and nanny and pomelo extremely frustrating, and the tension of the two upcoming cal tests, and having lots of yeast in my pantry, making some bread was in order. I ended up deciding on making challah, which turned out quite well. It was crusty on the outside and nice and soft on the inside. Very fragrant, and a little tinge of sweetness to it. I miscalculated the time I would need for the whole process, hence starting off a little late, and having to cut the second proofing time in half. Weather was cold as well, and out of desperation, I turned on the heater and left it to rise just above it, which worked, much to my surprise. *heh heh* On high right now ^^

And just now, after wadding through two horrendous cal tests and having the same dinner again six nights in a row,

Me: I feel like chocolate.
Puppy: Do you have chocolate?... oh yes, the bunny.
Me: Let's eat it.
Puppy: Why do you want to eat something so... ok, let's eat it. *goes out to grab bunny*

Took this picture couple of days ago now. I don't know why I can't seem to get the picture satisfactory though. I'm copying the way some bloggers 'photo-shoot' their cookies, but could it be my camera? Could it be the fact I was using lousy local lighting here? It lacks that ooh quality somehow. The colours aren't vibrant enough, and the cookies themselves don't stand out enough somehow. Or do I actually need to photoshop my photos?? Why why why?

But this is just the tip of it. Everytime I read other people's blogs, just looking at the pictures give me inspiration to try out the recipe, in hopes that I would acheive that beautiful product that they have, and in hopes that I would be able to photograph it and say to myself, yes, you've got a lovely photograph there. But most times it never comes to pass as I want it to be. Either the thing doesn't come out right, or it doesn't look presentable, or my camera takes such a dismal photo I can't be bothered uploading it at all. Oddly enough though, it just makes me all the more interested in food photography.... despite my obvious lack of skills and talent.

Or could it be due to the fact that my course isn't what I had envisioned it to be. I want what's at the end, but the road is just uninteresting/ boring me to death. Perhaps I'm just comparing it to last year's course modules? Sometimes I wonder, have I taken a wrong turn somewhere? Is it too late to say no to it all and just run away screaming? Alas, in this case I know myself too well. I would never be able to turn back, not after having dumped in so much effort. Perhaps mum's saying of 'love can be developed' might work, who knows??

Watched the Untouchables today, at puppy's insistance, at Central. I thought it would be a dead boring movie (like many of those movies about AH and what not) but I was proved wrong. It's a great movie. A very rich and captivating storyline and there are quite a lot of good scenes. Even better is the soundtrack, which kept me feeling tensed and glued for more. I SWEAR, if I had an aneurysm up there, it would have haemorrhaged right there and then.

Worm's bunny. I wonder where my bunny from my kiddy-hood is now...

Table tennis this morning. I'm still no better at it and not much nearer to liking it either. No idea why I dislike it, but I just can't seem to enjoy it. At least worm and puppy did, though only after much pushing and persuading did they manage to make me take up the paddle to give it a try *grimace* In short, I still prefer doing the machines upstairs in the sweaty gym. Somehow, games doesn't give me much satisfaction as workouts on those exercise machines... but then how often do I get into the mood to go to the gym? Lol. Pitiful.

Only thing worth mentioning today is that I made chocolate cake pudding today. I got the recipe off... where? I can't remember. I think it was from the blog called baking bites. That, or allrecipes. But it was real intense... seriously chocolatey. So chocolatey, so gooey, so fudgey, so dark, so thick... almost like heaven. But still, it was a good thing that I gave half of my second slice to puppy. Had that sort of feeling one gets after having too much rich food after that 1.5 slices lol. I don't get it though, there was hardly any fat that went into making that pud. But this recipe is one for the keeping. And my craving for mud cake, is at last satisfied. *ahhh* Made another one, but split it into two, one for the girl whose eyes are still sore and another for the poor thing who is working hard thinking up music to go with tai chi *poor things*! Didn't turn out as pretty as the first, but certainly it looks like it would be of a texture that's more acceptable though. The first one that we ate was rather liquidy in the centre, and I guess that's the reason why the recipe called for a baking pan, not a bowl lol!

Had what worm called chinese spaghetti for dinner tonight. Perhaps I should have added more salt to the sauce. Not to mention a bit more tomato paste. And bay leaves... why didn't I get some when I was at the supermarket? Should have planned for dinner earlier. That, or rosemary. Not to mention, after tonight, it's either pasta or rice that I'll ever have with it. Those fresh chinese noodles from the farmers market certainly don't go very well with it. Ah well, at least my worm is happy ^^ ...

The skate curry is finished at last. The remaining skate was pan-fried and eaten up. Turns out I'm not the only one who likes burnt bits of protein :P! I was a little apprehensive about the curry gravy though, but when I tasted it again after puppy had microwaved it up, it turned out fine. Not much of that horrid powdery feeling to it. Though puppy hadn't reckoned on the extreme heat of the curry and looked thoroughly tortured after the first couple of spoonfuls. Heh heh.

Weather was good as well today. A welcomed relief from the gloomy weather of the past few days. Too good to be wasted, so puppy, worm and I decided that a walk would be the best way to use the time in between after-lunch to about 3pm. The gardens were looking their usual. We passed the azaleas section today as well, and I was hoping it would be blooming. What am I thinking, when we are coming just heading towards winter? Lol. Dropped by the aviary as well. Lots of parrots in all shapes, sizes and colours there. Other birds as well but not as exciting. The blue and yellow parrot (the name I forget) was I think the prettiest of them all. There was a peacock, but even though it's always good fun to spot one, I think it's a bit too fancy for my taste :P There was a parrot who said hello as well, though only after we had moved on to the nextdoor cage -_-"' A couple of friendly keas came up close to the wire netting to look at us. I wonder though, as they stare at us with quizzical eyes, do they think they they are looking at us from within a cage, or do we appear as the caged ones to them? I wouldn't be very happy having to spend my days in a cage, but they don't seem to mind. Or maybe they do, I just don't see them often enough to know...

After that it was a 45 minute walk back home to get the dough for the pizza started. Would have been shorter claimed puppy, but then I lack the long legs necessary for the fast speed. Not that it mattered, since dinner was pretty much on time. I followed the recipe, and let the yeast froth a little with the sugar water first, even though common sense told me that instant yeast was called instant for a good reason. Not that it mattered, since we didn't wait for the full 15 minutes lol. The recipe yielded a rather dry dough that was certainly too hard to knead. I had to add quite a bit of water just to get it just right, and a little more than the amount of oil asked for. The amount of topping we put on it was phenomenal! A mini mountain is the only way to describe it when we chucked it into the oven. I'm surprised at the short time required to bake it, but I guess the reason is the high temperature it was baked at. Surprised and extremely happy is all that I can say about the crust today. It was just nice and crispy/ crunchy, but not hard, and could hold up the topping quite well. *ahhh* All it lacked was perhaps a bit of salt I think, and mozarella cheese. Cheddar does not work as well in terms of texture. Too bad I only had oregano flakes though, ground oregano would have been better I think. I could barely smell it after it was baked. But I'm satisfied overall, and we all agreed we beat Poppa's. Homemade is still best... in terms of satisfaction... and so much less greasy as well ^^! But oh, if only I had mozarella... mm... cheese....

p/s don't mind me blowing my own horn here... this is the mood I end up in when I am pretty happy with the results... No pics here, it was all gobbled up before the thought of a photo came to me... despite the camera being in the kitchen all the time lol!

Woke up rather early today... by worm's standards anyway for a Sunday. I woke up only slightly earlier to get the laundry going and to get the pancake batter done. I was hoping to make really thick pancakes, American style. No maple syrup in my pantry unfortunately. But then I think the batter could be slightly thicker. But then I can't make it really big either or there wouldn't be enough around. So in the end puppy and I agreed to water it down to make thinner but bigger pancakes. Should have let the batter rest actually, but I couldn't be bothered. I wake up hungry everyday :P!

Just as well we lacked an ID card for worm then, since I certainly wasn't in the mood for ping pong. We ended up strolling around the clearance shop and that craft shop (?) next to it, both of which were having closing down sales. I saw this lovely carving of a cockerel. I'm thinking and thinking still. Would my 20 be justified? I'll continue pondering meanwhile and I hope no one snaps it up lol (or do I??). The $2 shop got a visit from us three as well, though there wasn't really anything there to buy. Unless one counts the cute porcelain bowls. But then our flat has more than enough dishes and bowls than we need :( so the cute porcelain bowls in the shop will stay.

And thanks to puppy for the pizzas at Poppa's. Worm took the short cut out and choose an option that would let her have everything minus seafood. And puppy ended up getting the seafood option lol. Both were quite nice. Though I must say I'm still no lover of shellfish. The taste may be masked by other toppings, but the smell and texture is still there. Just as well my parents are not in the seafood industry then ^^ After that a short trip to the chip shop down the road. I couldn't remember how big the 2 dollar bag was anymore. Goes to show how often I get that when I eat out (I'll say it's a good thing then haha!). Even more scary then the greasy smell lingering in the air threatening to make me smell icky is the size of the bag of chips a boy walked out the shop with. It was big, no, humongous... I lie... it was of gargantuan proportions. Upon asking, it turned out that was a five dollar order he had placed. I guess that must be part of the family's lunch then. I can't imagine any kid finishing that alone. The heck, I can barely finish the two dollar bag on some days!

Afterwards, we trotted over to the museum for a look at their Big Ice exhibition. It was fairly interesting, but that is partly due to my lack of interest in antartic exploration. The most interesting thing I thought were the stuffed animal exhibits that formed part of the showcase. Not to forget the cute little whale embryo as well. How the hell that got that I'll never know. The hello dolly exhibit was much better. Worm still thinks that those dolls are creepy, but the point of these dolls IS to appear life-like. Goodness, the basic ones along G-street retail for about 300 bucks normally, which I thought was already rather dear (but understandable of course), but I'm certainly grossly uninformed. There was a clip as well of a collectible doll auction in Ackld where some dolls went for 7000+ :O! But they are really oh so pretty, with their well formed eyebrows and dainty painted eyes, and oh my gawd, are those creases painted along on their crimson lips as well that I see?! So detailed, so exquisite! Right, I should stop my rambling on those dolls here.

The museum also hosts some curiosities that set worm laughing... laughter that later infected the rest of us as well. Greek statues are interesting *nods head* lol. And the statue of Aphrodite was beautiful, but are arms not beautiful enough to be included in the sculpture? I thought arms were one of the parts of human anatomy that were most intriguing and beautiful...

Shopping for pizza stuff afterwards as well. Mood wasn't so good, what with my heel starting to act up again, and worm not paying attention and making the process all the more painful. But then the promise of fun tomorrow more than makes up for it. And making me happier still was the fact that the skate wings are salvageable! Pan-frying them made them so much better, to the point of being yummy. Worm wouldn't touch them still, for fear of a repeat of tummy upset. Her loss then ^^ I guess I'll just chuck out the stupid sauce and pan-fry the remains tomorrow. Muahahahaha!

Played badmindton this morning, the first time since... primary six?? And that's like almost a decade ago now. I can still remember playing out in our garden back home in Kuching, without a net. A shuttlecock and our little racquets that grew more and more worn out with use was all we used. There wasn't even a set size to our little 'cour't. Always in the cool of the evening, without heed of the roar of the cars passing by the street outside, never caring about keeping score. All that mattered was to get the shuttlecock and making sure it kept clear of the big muddy ditch outside. How annoyed we would get when one of us sent it plunging to the bottom of the ditch, and how would have to net it out and then with much grimacing and wincing, wash it white again. It was either Sh's or worm's idea to do it this morning, and so an early start to the day it was, even before it was properly light outside. A surprise visit from puppy, a short walk down to pick up Sh, and a 20 minute walk to unipol saw us waiting outside unipol for a good ten minutes at least.

I don't remember ever being good at starting off the game, but frustratingly, I couldn't get the shuttlecock airborne properly even this morning, not until a few dozen tries. Can I still call myself Malaysian I wonder?? Even more interestingly was the fact that I wasn't the only one remember the good smash in the face with a racquet by worm, she did as well. Never had she mentioned it, that's is, up till now, that I thought everyone had forgotten. Lol. Hmm... can I put the blame on her now that my nose isn't as high as I want it to be? *naughty grin*

Afterwards was a trip with worm to the farmers market. Got more noodles and tofu. Turns out 'pa mien' in Heng hua actually means fresh noodles (a little wisdom shared by Sh). I guess that's why when grandma told me that could make that and described the process to me, I had thought it sounded just too simple. Shouldn't somthing with an exotic name be hard to be make and be all complicated??! Mmmm... should I try and have a go making it I wonder?

Baking session turned out well for Cl. Her brownie tasted great and very cake-like, though I'm not sure why the brownie wasn't brown or chocolatey at all. But then I'm not complaining, peanut butter beats chocolate for me anytime anyways. Hehe... she's making the cake for me?? :P And why, oh why didn't my souffle turn out right? *cries**weeps**moans* I followed the recipe exactly! Everything I make which usually needs rising usually just flops back down after they exit the oven door... excepting breads which usually stay up. Darn. Shall try again one day... when I have the courage to face the possibility of another failure. *sniffles*

Dinner was fun, even though the meat dish was waay too salty for my liking. Though I must devise better torture methods in future for interrogation. Interesting new concept. Torture over dinner. Some poison that brings agonising pain with an antidote that only I have? Then perhaps more secrets can be obtained...

Weather is looking rather miserable today, and to add to that, the thought that I nearly killed my worm with bouts of vomitting and diarhoea yesterday night. I guess I underestimated the punch that my powdered chilli is capable of delivering and dropped in waaay too much into the curry I was trying to make. I didn't really find it good [I wonder if it makes it to so-so level even :( ] and poor Sh and worm still managed to down quite a bit (*thanks guys!*). The diarrhoea part I was kinda expecting it, but not to the extent of vomitting. I've better moderate my chilli use in future :( before I actually start killing people.

I wonder how one goes about restricting access to certain posts but not the whole blog? Can't seem to find the control button for it anywhere under settings or posting at all somehow. So how do people do it??

Watched 300 today. Plenty of gushing/ oozing blood and fierce battle cries throughout to keep both puppy and worm happy. Storyline was good, with its theme of honour and pride and of love for family and country. Did make me wonder as well. Was the queen justified trading 'herself'', and in doing so, go against the one or more of the important codes that make up the foundations of her country and people, in hopes to not just save her husband, but also her country? Best part I think was the filming though. Slowed down in the right parts to make it all the more intense, the captivating voice and storytelling of the narrator, and the colour as well. Now... if only I could get my camera to do that, I'd quit m-school right now, hah to those big shots. I'm dreaming. If only remains as if only's.

After that it was lunch at Korea House. Q and Cl couldn't make it for that either, so it was still puppy, worm, Sh and I. Turns out that the jelly tofu soup isn't too spicy for Sh, but poor puppy was finding the heat of the bbq pork he ordered a little too much :P! After yesterday, worm took the safe route but I doubt if it was anything really Korean though. At least she saw what I meant when I said jelly tofu soup is lovely. Though it probably goes to show how lousy I am at cooking then *waah*

From there, it was a non-stop play time of uno, go-stop, poker, and scum. And loads and loads of junk food. I don't want to think what went down me. This holiday is turning out to be really unhealthy so far. I'm going to turn into a real moon soon. Help! Should I even insult worm by wishing it was my turn to be sick now?? :P

If We Hold On Together

Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

When we are out there in the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark we'll feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I

Burj al-Arab, Jumeirah beach

Just as well we had our little trip yesterday. True to the weather forecast, it rained buckets throughout late morning to afternoon. Perfect day for sleeping it all through, but unfortunately I'm not the sort who can sleep till afternoon. I tried this morning, but got up in the end because I was getting rather bored. Had some more of the (unsweetened) muesli this morning. Should I ever be bothered doing it again, I'm making sure cinnamon is part of the mix. LOL. I wonder where do people get dried apple bits here? Without it being coated with more sugar and being overly expensive? Hmm... Hm...

Despite the weather being determined wet, wormy and I decided that kachama would be the worth in the walk in the rain (one umbrella between us LOL!) to Countdown and NW for the ingredients. Ginger from countdown of course (puppy alerted me to their having restocked on it at last. I found out later it can be gotten slightly cheaper at NW but in rather large quantities... it'd probably mould over before I finished yikes!), and garlic from NW, and some others. One mighty heavy-laden walk back in the rain it was. Wormy is convinced my thighs must be made of muscles. She didn't take up my offer of proding it to prove it otherwise though. *grin* At least there's something to look forwards to tonight despite the miserable weather. Food is always good for cheering up people/ situations... though sometimes I'm not sure if it's all that good a way to ward depression. *laughs*

Hum Hum Hum *hugs* Love ya all!

Tiny pine cone from my walk at the botanical gardens with puppy on monday afternoon. Just love their 'petalled' look ^^ There were still some as well stuck on the trees that look just like the dried ones, except for the fact that were still ... soft and squishy :P Passed by some toadstools. For some reason or other we started talking about the reason behind their name, and I was saying they could be stools for toads, and then puppy said (what I thought he said at least) yeah, they're toad's stools, where stools meant seats, which was practically the same as what I said. It took me some time before I realised he was talking about stools as in poo -_-"' Lol. Gardens was still pretty with some flowers still out, and saw lots of aloe species in the african themed part of the garden. The cherry tree walk still had it's beautiful grassy green patch in the middle. The cherry trees are looking rather sad, leaves wilting making them looking rather stunted and forlorn. Not very impressive despite the explanatory sign saying that every year the cherry (why do I keep on typing it as cheery?!) trees grow bigger and more impressive... hmm...

Purple lantern flowers from the little plant at the side of the path to my house. Photo might be a little overexposed, since the purpley bits are supposed to be of a richer deeper hue and bright cheery pink for the outer petals, instead of this pale shy looking pink. Love how I managed to get teh background a little blur ^^!

Toadstool, not from the botanical gardens, but one we found along the path while walking back from the signal hill lookout. Went there for the family expedition today, instead of having it on wednesday as planned before (forecast was for rain in the afternoon... so it better rain tomorrow afternoon!). Problem was wormy said she wouldn't arrive until late morning, about eleven. So the planned meet-up at the link was set for half-past. Only that she failed to arrive at that time, no thanks to unplanned for hp calls and meetings by the driver, but at least he sent her straight to the house safe and sound, and she was welcomed warmly by Chyikee. Lol, she arrived just as puppy and I got to the link, so it was a mad dash back to get her.

Thinking innocently that it would take us 40 minutes to get to the signal hill lookout (since puppy's flatmates did it in that time), we set out happily towards the north. Only problem was we didn't factor in the fact that his flatmates were loads fitter than us, and we reached our destination at past two. What was supposedly a 40 minute walk took us two hours I think? Weather was really warm today, which in itself was a good thing, except that after walking for ages, us five girls were certainly starting to wilt. Just as well the thought that we had walked so far already just made us go on. No point abandoning it halfway when we had been through so much... *ahem* torture?? Haha. We did ask for it after all. And so we climbed... up and up and up... and up... and up... some more. Puppy went on ahead to see how much farther it was and probably spent a good deal of time waiting for the rest of us to slowly arrive lol. And this is the view from signal hill. Too bad it was cloudy when I took the picture. Blue skies would make this scene worthy of any gallery... and I was there to see it ^^

The picnic lunch we shared was well worth the pain and sweat though. The food was nice, but the peaceful surroundings, the knowledge that we had 'earned' our lunch, the feeling of togetherness made it all the better. We probably brought along too much food but surprisingly we finished most of it in the end, so it was a whole bunch of bloated kiddies sitting out on the field at the top of signal hill today. Ooh, and we saw a little brown rabbit there too! ... which probably explains the pellets scattered around the field lol! And it was games afterwards. Without our cards, we had to think up games. So it was mafia (no idea what the actual name is, some killing by winking game it was), a number game, and Q's 'pabo' game. It's been a long time we've all laughed ourselves windless I think *grin* Some picture taking afterwards as a group as well... *double grins* And took this picture on the way down (we took the bus back down to town as it was getting late and our feet were really sore). See the cow/ bull at the bottom corner at the left!

The easter bunny is from Cl's for 'my room decorative piece' and I. Lol. What a mouthful that title is! Cl was asking me if it was chomped on already but can one do that? Not when it has that cheerful face and innocent bunny look! It was during a small gathering last Friday for dinner that she passed it to me. What started out as plans for a trip out to the beach in the evening turned into an indoor dinner thing with games after. I'm not sure if I just happen to be suggestible, but after all that ... *loss for words*... about feng shui, I'm starting to wonder if it actually works and what it actually is. Can an arrow just change how things work out? Or is it all just in the mind?? What about luck and chance? I'm pretty sure skill alone cannot account for getting 5 'guangs' in a go-stop game! Nor can I think of anything that can explain beating puppy at poker and go-stop this morning, especially not when I know practically nuts about poker compared to him! Hmm... Hmm...

Couldn't get up this morning either to join Sh for her morning walk. And the verdict for the weather this morning from puppy and Sh are so very different. Frigid said one, just nice said the other. I shall judge myself tomorrow morning then when I go out with Sh again at 7.30 tomorrow morning. We'll see if someone really had padding problems or was it just very high brown fat content on another's part.

Walked two hours today too. Was intending to walk out to pak 'n' save today actually, simply because I hadn't been there in a long while *wonder when they have their specials on bananas... hum*. We ended up walking waaay past it and all the way to KFC where true to Sh's word (rather than his own) puppy ended up feeding us some LOL. Not sure if the walk would undo the chocolate that went down me though.

Keeping fingers crossed that the weather will be fabulous come Wednesday. That would make torturing our little visiting worm very easy.

Had kimbap today, courtesy of omani. Yummy. I could have this everyday, for every meal I think. This is the only type of 'sushi'-like seaweed roll that I like. At last I've found someone who thinks alike as well. Like Doh (his name really is Doh!), I do think the Jap version is rather bland, and having it with soy sauce and wasabi just to make it tasty is like cheating somewhat. Not to mention wasabi tastes like crap to me. But kimbap. It's like a 180 degree turn. It has a more intense flavour from the sweet and salty meat and pickles in it. Smells nicer somehow as well. Not that one can say otherwise, omani is the demi-god of cooking. Mmmm.... I want some for breakfast... *drools*

She never thought that lighting could make a big difference. Never again does she want to appear in bright white light, but deep down she knows she's just deceiving herself. Perhaps now she knows how the beast of her childhood felt like, knowing why it chose to stay in seclusion. Her heart bleeds but amongst the blood and tears, there's always hope. An active hope. That one day she may emerge from this dark memory of pain laughing triumphantly. With the love and encouragement from the people around her, she knows she will.